Since I've abandoned you for so long, the story has [nearly] ended.
From Then To Now:
The Government shutdown. It re-opened. I went to Poland for two weeks (details to follow). I'm still basking in my pre-mid life crisis. I'll be going home soon. Afghanistan doesn't get any better as the weather gets colder. Yup, same ol same.
Polska:
Poland was amazing! I was in Bydgoszcz escorting a group of Afghan military and police members to training. The travel was very "interesting" however. First, while getting searched at Kabul International Airport I'm almost positive the lady went to 2nd or 3rd base. Only because getting "hands on" is the only way to get down in Afghanistan I'm sure. Transiting through Doha and Dubai were a wirlwhind, but apparantly there is something rather suspicious about one American female traveling across the world without a passport with a group of 60+ Afghan men.
After two (literally) days of traveling we finally made it to Bydgoszcz and stayed at the most oppulent hotel I've ever seen and experienced first-hand. I felt like a recently freed prisoner. Having a bed larger than a twin size, a bathroom to myself, and merely strolling along without battle rattle and a pistol were great...weird, but great.
Between my days on duty at the training center, I shopped my head off and allowed my inner Foodie to explore all of the restaurants that my belly could handle. Traveling back was equally interesting. While traveling through Warsaw or Gdanszk (I can't remember exactly), the female Polish TSA equivalent did an equally through pat down. Unlike the curtained area they have for women in Afghanistan, this pat down was at the security gate in front of everyone. Maybe she confused my dress as a shirt and my leggings as pants, but either way she lifted my dress completely up with all of my business exposed. I was a little bothered and upset, but if that will thwart terrorism and keep bombs off planes, I'm game.
WAIT, I almost forgot the first day at the training center: A Polish Army Major introduced himself to the other three escorts and I (there were two U.S. Army officers, and Italian Army officer, and myself...AIRPOWER). Anyway, he went on to tell me that my time there would be laughingly interesting. I didn't think anything of it, and then one of the Afghan interpreters that traveled with us said "It's because you're black ma'am". So um yeah. The first night we went out for dinner in Poland, there was a black guy (I'm thinking he was from the U.K. based on his accent), he yelled across the room "What's up my black sister!" I forced an awkward smile and said hello. He asked where I was from, and while I wanted to say Djibouti, I told him the U.S. He responded, "Oh, like New York". I just said yes and went with it. Sometimes less is more.
I also took over 100 photos with the Afghans once they warmed up to me. They were very intrigued by this non-veil wearing black skin girl. Two other guys from the training, one New Zealender and one Polish, stated that they observed how graceful and polite I was despite all of the request for photos. First, I've never heard those words in describing me. Second, I realize that I'm a "rare form" and I went on and was a representative of all dark people and obliged their request. Black people all across the world, you're welcome.
And so the saga that is my pre-mid life crisis continues. It's been nearly a year already and I haven't quite gotten a grip on things. I'm currently on Day 4 of The Purpose Driven Life, sand I feel there is still hope and with a reality check and leap of faith I'll get this whole thing figured out.
So my contdown back to the states has officially begun. I'll write as much as possible and update you on the antics as they occur. I suppose you can call it a prelogue to my reintegration in the foreign world and life I left behind in May.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
HELP!!!
Ok, I'm definitely in that "I can't believe I'm still here, send me home already, someone take me out of my misery, I NEED to see my hubster and babies, this can't be real life" phase of my deployment.
In recent news:
Water shortage-Some wise Afghan individual(s) decided large trucks would be restricted from traversing throughout the city. Why is this such a big deal? BLACKWATER. So our little cramped camp reached 75% capacity and the water that wasn't essential to DFAC operations was shut off. Billeting (most of them) was left on. This only lasted a day, but it was the SCARIEST day of my life. Can you imagine??? Ok, maybe you can imagine like during the Battle of Gettysburg, but not circa 2013 OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM for us regular non-special forces type folks. I'm just sayin.
XFit:
Yup, I did crossfit like 3x. I realized I'd much rather lift weights and do average cardio. That's all.
Geek Squad:
I kept recieving a certificate error while frivolously surfing the internet. It was determined that my computer needed to be re-imaged. Our IT folks "backed up" my files...fast forward to a day later; got my PC back, reconnected to network, and files transferred back to my computer. Oh wait, ALL my files weren't backed up...hold on, none of my files were backed up? Isn't that just peachy! Hey General, umm I know you're looking for that thing I was working...but I kinda don't have it -_-
So now, I just continue the countdown until my trip to Poland. Did I ever mention that to you? If not, I'll get to spend two weeks out of lovely Afghanistan to go to Poland. I'll have to endure living in a hotel downtown, eating at restaurants, wearing civilian clothing...oh the agony.
I'm off to grab grub, for what is hopefully 1 of 8 remaining steak nights. We shall see.
Thanks for dealing with me. Adios mis amigos.
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT
I almost forgot to mention that I am leading a volunteer mission to collect donations for a local children's hospital. A story appeared on cnn.com in 2009, unfortunately the conditions have not improved. (Would post link, but I lost it with my files). I went there a few weeks ago and what I saw hurt my heart.
What we need:
Hand Sanitizer
Disposal Diapers (all sizes)
Gauze
Band-Aids
Gloves (sterile and non-sterile)
Any hygiene items
Antiseptic
School supplies (especially pencils and paper)
Where to send items:
CSTC-A Chapel VCR
APO, AE 09356
Our FB page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/cevcr
In recent news:
Water shortage-Some wise Afghan individual(s) decided large trucks would be restricted from traversing throughout the city. Why is this such a big deal? BLACKWATER. So our little cramped camp reached 75% capacity and the water that wasn't essential to DFAC operations was shut off. Billeting (most of them) was left on. This only lasted a day, but it was the SCARIEST day of my life. Can you imagine??? Ok, maybe you can imagine like during the Battle of Gettysburg, but not circa 2013 OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM for us regular non-special forces type folks. I'm just sayin.
XFit:
Yup, I did crossfit like 3x. I realized I'd much rather lift weights and do average cardio. That's all.
Geek Squad:
I kept recieving a certificate error while frivolously surfing the internet. It was determined that my computer needed to be re-imaged. Our IT folks "backed up" my files...fast forward to a day later; got my PC back, reconnected to network, and files transferred back to my computer. Oh wait, ALL my files weren't backed up...hold on, none of my files were backed up? Isn't that just peachy! Hey General, umm I know you're looking for that thing I was working...but I kinda don't have it -_-
So now, I just continue the countdown until my trip to Poland. Did I ever mention that to you? If not, I'll get to spend two weeks out of lovely Afghanistan to go to Poland. I'll have to endure living in a hotel downtown, eating at restaurants, wearing civilian clothing...oh the agony.
I'm off to grab grub, for what is hopefully 1 of 8 remaining steak nights. We shall see.
Thanks for dealing with me. Adios mis amigos.
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT
I almost forgot to mention that I am leading a volunteer mission to collect donations for a local children's hospital. A story appeared on cnn.com in 2009, unfortunately the conditions have not improved. (Would post link, but I lost it with my files). I went there a few weeks ago and what I saw hurt my heart.
What we need:
Hand Sanitizer
Disposal Diapers (all sizes)
Gauze
Band-Aids
Gloves (sterile and non-sterile)
Any hygiene items
Antiseptic
School supplies (especially pencils and paper)
Where to send items:
CSTC-A Chapel VCR
APO, AE 09356
Our FB page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/cevcr
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Squirrel
Thank God for ADD, otherwise I'd never get sidetracked from work long enough to update this thing.
So what's new:
1) I'm skinny again (aka happy in my mind). Well maybe not skinny, but my workouts are paying off and I shed the beastly post pregnancy body that I was dragging around. Every woman should deploy and leave a 4 month old baby at home -_-
2) My living arrangements have been upgraded. No more cohabitating with a roomie in a 4x10 (literally) room. My new place also walks out onto a patio; I'm on the 2nd floor so it's kinda sweet. It's only four females in the building and we're all on the 2nd floor and I think the guys are getting used to having estrogen in the building. We stay in our space and them in theirs. It's quiet, the wifi is great, and best of all...no more roommate!
3) No matter how much I gripe, moan, and complain, I still embraced the suck that is deploying and leaving behind my family. I've missed birthdays, will miss my Anniversary, a whole bunch of "firsts", but at the end of the day this will be one of the most purpose-filled events of my life. OH CRAP GUNFIRE
******************************
Ok I'm back. Something about soccer, Afghan beating India. Celebratory gunfire. *shrugs* Did anyone tell them it's 9/11 and there is an INSANE AMOUNT of firepower in the area itching to be used???
I suppose I should be doing something "deployed" like at the moment.
--Signing off--
So what's new:
1) I'm skinny again (aka happy in my mind). Well maybe not skinny, but my workouts are paying off and I shed the beastly post pregnancy body that I was dragging around. Every woman should deploy and leave a 4 month old baby at home -_-
2) My living arrangements have been upgraded. No more cohabitating with a roomie in a 4x10 (literally) room. My new place also walks out onto a patio; I'm on the 2nd floor so it's kinda sweet. It's only four females in the building and we're all on the 2nd floor and I think the guys are getting used to having estrogen in the building. We stay in our space and them in theirs. It's quiet, the wifi is great, and best of all...no more roommate!
3) No matter how much I gripe, moan, and complain, I still embraced the suck that is deploying and leaving behind my family. I've missed birthdays, will miss my Anniversary, a whole bunch of "firsts", but at the end of the day this will be one of the most purpose-filled events of my life. OH CRAP GUNFIRE
******************************
Ok I'm back. Something about soccer, Afghan beating India. Celebratory gunfire. *shrugs* Did anyone tell them it's 9/11 and there is an INSANE AMOUNT of firepower in the area itching to be used???
I suppose I should be doing something "deployed" like at the moment.
--Signing off--
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Advice on Life
How to simulate life on Camp Eggers (or any location in Afghanistan) at home.
1.
Take a trip to your nearest wholesale store
(e.g. SAMs, Costco, etc.), buy two pallets of bottled water, and stack several
cases in every corner of your house.
Make sure you drive down a dirt road with your windows down to give the
cases of water a nice coat of dust prior to placing them inside the house.
2.
Take a sledgehammer to your walkways, patios,
and driveways. Create as many holes and
uneven surfaces in the cement to maximize the number of ankle and fall injuries
to your family and friends visiting.
3.
Go to your nearest hardware store and rent a
tractor. Rip up all your grass and
replace it with rock gravel. Make sure
the gravel is small enough to get caught in the tread of your shoes so the
inside of your house is littered with gravel that has clung to and fallen off
the bottom of your shoes.
4.
Remove all plumbing traps from your sinks and
toilets so the whole bathroom smells like you walked straight into the septic
tank.
5.
Tear down and rebuild the walls surrounding the
toilet in your house. Make sure the
dimensions measure no more than two feet wide by four feet deep. Position the door in front of the toilet and
close enough so when sitting you cannot shut the door without hitting your
knees.
6.
Cut your shower stall foundation or bathtub in
half, keeping the existing vertical walls in place. Position the shower head to direct water into
the area where the foundation and bathtub was removed so that water goes all
over the floor and floods the bathroom.
7.
Place a pile of fine dirt in the inner edge of
each air conditioning duct. Crank your
air conditioner on high to blow the dirt through the vent and inside the house,
creating a fine layer of dust over everything.
Have the family assist in dusting everything off that evening, then
place dirt in each of the ducts again and crank your air conditioner on high
the next morning.
8.
Work a deal with the post office to take any
packaged destined for your residence and run them over several times with the
mail truck prior to delivery.
9.
Every time you or your family needs to take a
vehicle somewhere, generate an email to all those in your neighborhood
requesting use of their vehicles. The
email must include all passenger information (e.g. blood type, known allergies,
etc.), risk assessment, and impact to the mission if vehicles are not
provided. Make sure to return the
vehicles with little to no gas remaining, a few of the tools missing from the
tire changing kit in the back, and the ‘Check Engine’ light on. (Note, if the vehicle did not originally have
the ‘Check Engine’ light on and was not activated when you returned the
vehicle, you did not drive with an aggressive posture and must repeat driver’s
training).
10.
If performing action #9 above, assemble the
family outside the vehicles and perform a convoy briefing. Go through varying scenarios (e.g. a vehicle
breaks down, your convoy gets split by a ‘yellow light’ traffic signal, etc.)
and immediate actions required. Assign
driver and truck commander responsibilities.
Ensure you have a minimum of two people per vehicle. If you do not have enough children in your
family to meet this requirement, include a request to borrow the applicable
number of children, driver qualified of course, in the email you send to the
neighbors.
11.
Place a sign on and chain the door to the
laundry room shut, citing the laundry room is closed due to septic tank
levels. Maintain closure for several
weeks at a time, or until your family has worn the same underwear at least
three times over, whichever comes first.
12.
Sneak into the laundry room, remove random
articles of clothing from the baskets, and place them in an area where no one
will ever find them. Make sure to pick
one sock from a couple pairs in the basket prior to permanent removal. When a family member asks you if you have
seen their ‘favorite shirt’ or ‘the other sock that matches this one’, just
shrug your shoulders and give a look like you do not understand what they are
saying or talking about.
13.
Establish a neighborhood policy that all vehicles
transiting the neighborhood streets must have one ground guide per
vehicle. The ground guides must be in
full personal protective equipment (PPE) when performing these functions. Bicycle helmets and ‘Ironman Repulsor-Blast’
gloves are acceptable substitutes for children performing as ground guides.
14.
Call a family meeting. Describe and show your family how much you've
given them (housing, food, education, etc.).
Have your family, one at a time, go on a 30 minute diatribe about how
you haven't given them enough and that the things you've given them are the
wrong brand. Afterwards, thank each of
them for their contribution and tell them that you are working hard to resolve
those problems.
15.
Remove all silverware and dinnerware from the
house and replace with plastic utensils, Styrofoam/paper cups, and the thinnest
paper trays money can buy. Make sure the
entrée and side items are placed in the tray compartments with an excessive
amount of liquid stock so that it soaks through the tray and becomes a complete
mess.
16.
Install an overhead industrial fan several feet
in front of the trash can. Plug in the
fan and turn the knob to ‘Hurricane’ setting.
Make sure the position of the fan is close enough to the trash can so
that, when attempting to dispose of your plastic and paper dinnerware, they are
blown off your tray and scattered across the floor.
17.
Hire at least eight random strangers to stage
themselves at each residence access point.
Arrange them in a line, four feet separating each person, and instruct
them each to ask anyone approaching the residence, including family, for
identification.
18.
Wake up at random times throughout the night and
repeatedly open and slam shut a door.
19.
Fill your bedroom with as many bunk beds as you
can, leaving no more than two feet of space to walk through. Be sure to fill all the bunks with strangers
who loudly enter and exit the bedroom at obscene hours in addition to not silencing
their alarm clocks on the one morning a week you get to sleep in.
20.
Paint a green diamond on each exterior side of
all houses in the neighborhood.
21.
Grab the grocery list off the kitchen counter and
make your way to the store. Buy
everything on the list and think how great the menu will be this week. On your way home, take a portion of your
groceries and dispose of them to account for pilferage and spoilage. What is left should be that which is required
to make baked fish, stuffed green peppers, and turkey wings. Repeat this process over several months.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Welp...I've Got Nothing
My brain has officially shutdown, on top of that, I'm completely 'over' this whole deployment thing.
I know I'm barely on the heels of being halfway there, but I've reached my peak of forced positivity.
Very little amuses me anymore, yet everything annoys me, and I'm running out of wit-filled snarky comments and my respomses are just down right rude. Plus, no matter how hard I clinch my eyes shut and click my heels Toto and I still can't seem to get back to Kansas.
Random thought: One of the most amusing things about being a Captain is having Lieutenants call me ma'am #evillaughter *cue thunder*
I'm going to continue to scarf down a Hot Tamales dinner and attempt to top my high score on Word Mole.
Peace out my faithful followers.
...until next time.
Signed,
A Disgruntled (Junior) Staff Officer
I know I'm barely on the heels of being halfway there, but I've reached my peak of forced positivity.
Very little amuses me anymore, yet everything annoys me, and I'm running out of wit-filled snarky comments and my respomses are just down right rude. Plus, no matter how hard I clinch my eyes shut and click my heels Toto and I still can't seem to get back to Kansas.
Random thought: One of the most amusing things about being a Captain is having Lieutenants call me ma'am #evillaughter *cue thunder*
I'm going to continue to scarf down a Hot Tamales dinner and attempt to top my high score on Word Mole.
Peace out my faithful followers.
...until next time.
Signed,
A Disgruntled (Junior) Staff Officer
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
16 Days!
Has it really been 16 days since we last talked???
I thought I could maintain daily or at least multiple time per week updates...so much for that. Maybe I'll start with weekly then work my way back up.
Let me open my calendar and see what's transpired over the past two + weeks:
Well it looks like I've only done the usual-training, meetings, and squeeze in my workouts.
I did start Dari lessons on Sunday...session #2 was today, and I'm pretty sure I want to quit. When I first deployed I thought that it would be good to pick up a few habits to help me stay busy and occupy my time. The truth is, there is no "my time, she time, her time, me time".
I have made a resolution to stop working 16+ hour days. Not because there isn't work to do, but because most days I'm the ONLY one working. If people want to go hang out, smoke cigars, watch movies and do other crapity crap crap crap, then I will make myself unavailable to save the day all hours of the night when I can be decompressing in my room. <BREAK>
I'm at that [almost] half way mark, and I find that I'm missing my "normal" life more and more. I'm ok with not having to do laundry, cook, wash dishes, etc. but that still beats sucky meals most days, getting laundry back that smells like mildew, and no ice cream or pizza. Ok, the last two could be worst, but they still throw a pretty big blow.
Random: I think I should write a tell-all memoir. What do you think of "Confessions of a Disgruntled Staff Officer". I've tossed the name around social media so I'm sure someone will run with it, and I'll be left blogging to you guys--not that I'm complaining o_0.
I did host some pretty big events last week, work out some pretty awkward personnel issues, and I managed to only give snarky replies to two O-6s. I'd say I'm actually doing ok.
Those pretty awkward personnel issues:
Folks, if you are deployed (or homestation for that matter) make every attempt not to get in a physical altercation with another service member. This is especially true if you're say on O-5 fighting with an E-7.
Also, people have a tendency to end up with a "deployment boo". I'm not knocking it, per se, BUT if you do decide that you've met the love of your life and you're an officer and they're enlisted just count your losses and not pursue it. And if you're married...umm yea, it's not rocket science.
Oh snap, it's time for dinner and an old episode of Sons of Anarchy--it's an office thing...small victory.
Kho-daa Haa-fez!
I thought I could maintain daily or at least multiple time per week updates...so much for that. Maybe I'll start with weekly then work my way back up.
Let me open my calendar and see what's transpired over the past two + weeks:
Well it looks like I've only done the usual-training, meetings, and squeeze in my workouts.
I did start Dari lessons on Sunday...session #2 was today, and I'm pretty sure I want to quit. When I first deployed I thought that it would be good to pick up a few habits to help me stay busy and occupy my time. The truth is, there is no "my time, she time, her time, me time".
I have made a resolution to stop working 16+ hour days. Not because there isn't work to do, but because most days I'm the ONLY one working. If people want to go hang out, smoke cigars, watch movies and do other crapity crap crap crap, then I will make myself unavailable to save the day all hours of the night when I can be decompressing in my room. <BREAK>
I'm at that [almost] half way mark, and I find that I'm missing my "normal" life more and more. I'm ok with not having to do laundry, cook, wash dishes, etc. but that still beats sucky meals most days, getting laundry back that smells like mildew, and no ice cream or pizza. Ok, the last two could be worst, but they still throw a pretty big blow.
Random: I think I should write a tell-all memoir. What do you think of "Confessions of a Disgruntled Staff Officer". I've tossed the name around social media so I'm sure someone will run with it, and I'll be left blogging to you guys--not that I'm complaining o_0.
I did host some pretty big events last week, work out some pretty awkward personnel issues, and I managed to only give snarky replies to two O-6s. I'd say I'm actually doing ok.
Those pretty awkward personnel issues:
Folks, if you are deployed (or homestation for that matter) make every attempt not to get in a physical altercation with another service member. This is especially true if you're say on O-5 fighting with an E-7.
Also, people have a tendency to end up with a "deployment boo". I'm not knocking it, per se, BUT if you do decide that you've met the love of your life and you're an officer and they're enlisted just count your losses and not pursue it. And if you're married...umm yea, it's not rocket science.
Oh snap, it's time for dinner and an old episode of Sons of Anarchy--it's an office thing...small victory.
Kho-daa Haa-fez!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Repeat That Please...I Was Ignoring You
I seriously think this place is giving me a bad case of personality disorder. That, or my tolerance for humans is lowering and my disdain towards them is increasing. I should clarify this isn't towards all people, just the dumb ones that I encounter multiple times per day.
Am I turning into an angry black woman??? If so, that's not my intent.
I feel like a circus side show with all the jobs I seem to be inheriting. I talked to one of my BFFs the other day, and she asked when my day off was. That was the funniest thing I've heard in a while. If having 6 hours of "downtime" per week counts then I suppose my day off is Neverday. I do only average 14 hour work days so I guess I can't complain too much -_-. I sometimes think working here will prepare me for the Pentagon. Then reality hits, and I'm like "Wait, I won't be in the Air Force long enough to make it to the Pentagon".
In other news, I mentioned this blog to some of the guys I work with. Now they all want to know the name of it so they can read it. I dunno if I'll tell them, I like to keep my gripes, ranting, and complaints to an audience that I don't have to interact with. Plus, I prefer talking trash to them to their face, I wouldn't want them to have to read about it. I should say though, it's not the people that I work directly with that annoy me, but it's too soon to know if that will change.
I went to the bizarre on Friday and managed to score Seasons 1 & 2 of Homeland. I'm officially hooked, not quite like my Scandal addiction, but it will definitely do.
It's almost time for my Homeland viewing non-party, party. I'm off to make some Jalapeno popcorn and kick my boots up. Yesterday it took me about 5 hours to watch a 41 minute episode. Hopefully that won't be the case tonight.
makha de khah
Am I turning into an angry black woman??? If so, that's not my intent.
I feel like a circus side show with all the jobs I seem to be inheriting. I talked to one of my BFFs the other day, and she asked when my day off was. That was the funniest thing I've heard in a while. If having 6 hours of "downtime" per week counts then I suppose my day off is Neverday. I do only average 14 hour work days so I guess I can't complain too much -_-. I sometimes think working here will prepare me for the Pentagon. Then reality hits, and I'm like "Wait, I won't be in the Air Force long enough to make it to the Pentagon".
In other news, I mentioned this blog to some of the guys I work with. Now they all want to know the name of it so they can read it. I dunno if I'll tell them, I like to keep my gripes, ranting, and complaints to an audience that I don't have to interact with. Plus, I prefer talking trash to them to their face, I wouldn't want them to have to read about it. I should say though, it's not the people that I work directly with that annoy me, but it's too soon to know if that will change.
I went to the bizarre on Friday and managed to score Seasons 1 & 2 of Homeland. I'm officially hooked, not quite like my Scandal addiction, but it will definitely do.
It's almost time for my Homeland viewing non-party, party. I'm off to make some Jalapeno popcorn and kick my boots up. Yesterday it took me about 5 hours to watch a 41 minute episode. Hopefully that won't be the case tonight.
makha de khah
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Pandemonium---Did I Spell That Right?
My head is spinning in 100 different directions. I'm not sure if that's physically possible, but whatevs. What's new in my crazy world:
- I spent countless hours prepping for a HUGE VIP visit (like the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff)...it was cancelled the day of.
- I spent a little less hours prepping for a not so huge but still BIG VIP visit (Double Gubernatorial)...cancelled minutes prior. I think they realized that bad things happen to good people, and traveling to my FOB to shake hands with six constituents wasn't worth the risk.
- My "Protocol" office that I don't actually sit in, but all of our supplies are stored there is being moved to what I'm sure is a mole infested, used to be a kitchen, storage area so that a wave of civilians can have it for office space. Whatever, the plasma tv goes with me.
- Further confirmation that I'll never be a senior officer: foreign accents still make me laugh each time I get a phone call. I always think the Brits and Aussies are my friends playing jokes until I remember I don't have any friends here.
- My thoughts to separate next year are deterred by the reality of the civilian job market. So no one is really gonna offer me a six-figure salary plus an impressive benefits package to work as little as I'd like and take 3 hour lunch breaks? Oh the Air Force has spoiled me (jokes on me because they're making up for all the free time I had).
- I'm at a serious cross road and am trying to convince myself that I can work a job only making $40K/year. I mean, what's a nearly $50K pay cut??? Ok, back to reality--the Air Force OWNS ME until I get through my quarter life crisis.
- The Bloods vs Crips, Civilian GS-15/SES vs Military war continues. They may have taken my hideout aka non-office office to use for their employees, but they won't take my pride!
- Guam Liberation Day was pretty cool. For the record I (heart) the Guam guys and gals. They always have the best snacks, their island music is cool and calming, and I'm in complete confidence of their "tactical driving" when we hit the mean streets of Kabul.
- I'm currently babysitting an O-5...no fun, will discuss once he's actually shipped home.
- I signed up for an A+ (computer techy certification) course...the evaluation test is in an hour. *biting nails*--not really because that's gross. I'm thinking I should just quit while I'm ahead and focus on SOS (still to cautious to leave camp to go to another FOB to take the tests) and my Master's. I do start Dari lessons in a few weeks so maybe I shouldn't spread my [awesome] self too thin.
- I haven't been to the gym in I think 4 days. I've stopped counting because I'll beat myself up over it even more. In my mind if I think about defined abs they will appear.
That's all the time I have for now, duty calls aka someone is here to get on my nerves.
Au Revoir.
WAIT I almsot forgot the random sayings that made me chuckle these past few days.
-Civilian to me about a conversation she had with a Chief:
No, I'm sure she's a Captain. She's wise as a Captain with at least one week time in grade.
-Civilian ot me in the DFAC:
Your natural hair looks so healthy...especially to be in Afghanistan.
Male Sergeant Major replies:
Yea, it works for you. Some women should just STOP! Man, your stuff does look pretty thick though.
-An out of office reply for the Director of Staff:
I have begun redeployment operations; however, as I transition responsibilities please contact (ME) for all Legislative Affairs, Safety or HR related issues.
So apparantly she has no replacement and guess who's absorbing her duties???
Yea, this kid *whomp whomp*
- I spent countless hours prepping for a HUGE VIP visit (like the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff)...it was cancelled the day of.
- I spent a little less hours prepping for a not so huge but still BIG VIP visit (Double Gubernatorial)...cancelled minutes prior. I think they realized that bad things happen to good people, and traveling to my FOB to shake hands with six constituents wasn't worth the risk.
- My "Protocol" office that I don't actually sit in, but all of our supplies are stored there is being moved to what I'm sure is a mole infested, used to be a kitchen, storage area so that a wave of civilians can have it for office space. Whatever, the plasma tv goes with me.
- Further confirmation that I'll never be a senior officer: foreign accents still make me laugh each time I get a phone call. I always think the Brits and Aussies are my friends playing jokes until I remember I don't have any friends here.
- My thoughts to separate next year are deterred by the reality of the civilian job market. So no one is really gonna offer me a six-figure salary plus an impressive benefits package to work as little as I'd like and take 3 hour lunch breaks? Oh the Air Force has spoiled me (jokes on me because they're making up for all the free time I had).
- I'm at a serious cross road and am trying to convince myself that I can work a job only making $40K/year. I mean, what's a nearly $50K pay cut??? Ok, back to reality--the Air Force OWNS ME until I get through my quarter life crisis.
- The Bloods vs Crips, Civilian GS-15/SES vs Military war continues. They may have taken my hideout aka non-office office to use for their employees, but they won't take my pride!
- Guam Liberation Day was pretty cool. For the record I (heart) the Guam guys and gals. They always have the best snacks, their island music is cool and calming, and I'm in complete confidence of their "tactical driving" when we hit the mean streets of Kabul.
- I'm currently babysitting an O-5...no fun, will discuss once he's actually shipped home.
- I signed up for an A+ (computer techy certification) course...the evaluation test is in an hour. *biting nails*--not really because that's gross. I'm thinking I should just quit while I'm ahead and focus on SOS (still to cautious to leave camp to go to another FOB to take the tests) and my Master's. I do start Dari lessons in a few weeks so maybe I shouldn't spread my [awesome] self too thin.
- I haven't been to the gym in I think 4 days. I've stopped counting because I'll beat myself up over it even more. In my mind if I think about defined abs they will appear.
That's all the time I have for now, duty calls aka someone is here to get on my nerves.
Au Revoir.
WAIT I almsot forgot the random sayings that made me chuckle these past few days.
-Civilian to me about a conversation she had with a Chief:
No, I'm sure she's a Captain. She's wise as a Captain with at least one week time in grade.
-Civilian ot me in the DFAC:
Your natural hair looks so healthy...especially to be in Afghanistan.
Male Sergeant Major replies:
Yea, it works for you. Some women should just STOP! Man, your stuff does look pretty thick though.
-An out of office reply for the Director of Staff:
I have begun redeployment operations; however, as I transition responsibilities please contact (ME) for all Legislative Affairs, Safety or HR related issues.
So apparantly she has no replacement and guess who's absorbing her duties???
Yea, this kid *whomp whomp*
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Sissy Girl
Like a habitual cheating mate, I won't apologize for my failure to update you and promise to never do it again.
The past nine days were filled with your typical highs and lows. The high: seeing my fellow CASTmate and catching up on shenanigans. The low: purchasing software to hide my VPN in an attempt to use movie streaming services that only work in the U.S. (i.e. Netflix, Amazon Prime)...it didn't work. The wireless network detected my use of the "unauthorized software". It doesn't really matter, the wifi only works 16% of the time anyway.
I took a trip to KAIA (Kabul International Airport--I think) last week to attend training. While there I had lunch with Sarah,one of the Camp Girls from CAST. Camp Girls was the name given to my roomies and I by my 7-year old son. Anyway, the best part about being deployed to Afghanistan, is knowing people that are equally awesome as you to share the experience with. Sarah is on a mish' to use a Razor scooter to travel around the base. More to come on that.
Random thought:
The ice cream server at the DFAC generally gives me way too much, yet I still eat it all even when I feel nauseous...hmm.
My weightlifting update:
I'm up to 180 on the leg press...that's 180 lbs of added weight, I dunno if the plates weigh anything. I was also able to do three dead lifts at 165 lbs. Baby steps, but hey it's progress nonetheless. My only goal is to leave Afghanistan in better physical shape then I came in. We'll see how that goes and if a body transformation actually takes place. The Colonel I work for saw pics from the gym that the Major I workout with took. He noticed I was wearing gloves to lift and called me a sissy girl. I told him my husband will appreciate if I come home with palms that are still feminine.
I've signed up for Dari lessons. They begin in a month so I'll be sure to impress you with my newly acquired language skills.
What happens to people when they leave/retire from Active Duty and re-enter the civilian workforce as GS-15s? Or those that have always been civilians and have made it through the ranks and are now GS-15s/SES? I don't recall a crown being given to anyone regardless of what position they work in, but some folks think they're royalty. An Army Captain said something that made a lot of sense today, "Everybody here ain't fighting a war." So true. Some people are more consumed with trying to be placed in billeting without a roommate, creating fake Red Cross notifications, ordering executive Mahogany wood desks, and the lack of product selection at the PX. All things which the bad guys don't not care about, therefore should be no concern of ours.
People are starting to frustrate me, think I'll hit up the gym.
Adios!
The past nine days were filled with your typical highs and lows. The high: seeing my fellow CASTmate and catching up on shenanigans. The low: purchasing software to hide my VPN in an attempt to use movie streaming services that only work in the U.S. (i.e. Netflix, Amazon Prime)...it didn't work. The wireless network detected my use of the "unauthorized software". It doesn't really matter, the wifi only works 16% of the time anyway.
I took a trip to KAIA (Kabul International Airport--I think) last week to attend training. While there I had lunch with Sarah,one of the Camp Girls from CAST. Camp Girls was the name given to my roomies and I by my 7-year old son. Anyway, the best part about being deployed to Afghanistan, is knowing people that are equally awesome as you to share the experience with. Sarah is on a mish' to use a Razor scooter to travel around the base. More to come on that.
Random thought:
The ice cream server at the DFAC generally gives me way too much, yet I still eat it all even when I feel nauseous...hmm.
My weightlifting update:
I'm up to 180 on the leg press...that's 180 lbs of added weight, I dunno if the plates weigh anything. I was also able to do three dead lifts at 165 lbs. Baby steps, but hey it's progress nonetheless. My only goal is to leave Afghanistan in better physical shape then I came in. We'll see how that goes and if a body transformation actually takes place. The Colonel I work for saw pics from the gym that the Major I workout with took. He noticed I was wearing gloves to lift and called me a sissy girl. I told him my husband will appreciate if I come home with palms that are still feminine.
I've signed up for Dari lessons. They begin in a month so I'll be sure to impress you with my newly acquired language skills.
What happens to people when they leave/retire from Active Duty and re-enter the civilian workforce as GS-15s? Or those that have always been civilians and have made it through the ranks and are now GS-15s/SES? I don't recall a crown being given to anyone regardless of what position they work in, but some folks think they're royalty. An Army Captain said something that made a lot of sense today, "Everybody here ain't fighting a war." So true. Some people are more consumed with trying to be placed in billeting without a roommate, creating fake Red Cross notifications, ordering executive Mahogany wood desks, and the lack of product selection at the PX. All things which the bad guys don't not care about, therefore should be no concern of ours.
People are starting to frustrate me, think I'll hit up the gym.
Adios!
Sunday, July 7, 2013
My Apologies
Fortunately for you, I'm able to give apologies where due...so I owe you one for taking 7+ days to post an entry. For that, I'm sorry.
Ok, now that that's out of the way on to life in the 'Stan.
Do all Brits REALLY sound like Austin Powers? Or is it just the ones I've encountered?
I've had some really groovy conversations within the past few days, but I have no clue what was said to me. I chuckled a little, said random phrases, and made confused yet amused facial expressions. I suppose I did ok.
I forget that Canadaians don't speak some random African clicking language, and when our maple syrup friends speak to me (without a weird accent even) I find that I am amused. I said it before, and it still holds true; I'm definitely easily amused
Umm speaka inglais por favor
As usual, random people come into our office saying random things. The weirdest for the week was some civilian vomitting the name of a printer that he was looking for. Like the long technical, //, 50+ character mapping for a printer. I looked at him like "umm really", then I finally said "you're in the wrong area". It got him to leave so that was enough to satisfy me.
Happy Bday 'Merica
So in the spirit of all things 'Merican, we had a pretty cool 4th of July celebration filled with activities all day. Not that I had the opporotunity to partake in any of them, I was still glad to see a lot of the troops who work just as tirelessly as me have some downtime. We thought about telling our wonderful British counterparts "Cheers to you! Your imperialism couldn't hold us back."...but we just let it go.
For the past four days or so, I've been feeling nauseaus and suffering with headaches. After about 30 minutes it goes away, and it only happens once per day. Today I finally realized that I was making myself sick. I hadn't been taking my milaria meds as instructed, but once I read that it's the same medicine prescribed for acne I figured I had nothing to lose...except blackheads, whiteheads, and everything in between. I was so convinced that this miracle drug would work that I doubled the dose. Then as my symptoms attacked me today, I Googled the side effects of my meds. Oh what's that you say? Common side effects include naseau, diarhea, yada yada yada. Ain't nobody got time for that! I'll cut back to one per day and maybe I'll actually eat something before taking them.
Well I'm sure there are ridiculous videos on YouTube or ratchet reality TV waiting for me. Until next time my friends.
Ok, now that that's out of the way on to life in the 'Stan.
Do all Brits REALLY sound like Austin Powers? Or is it just the ones I've encountered?
I've had some really groovy conversations within the past few days, but I have no clue what was said to me. I chuckled a little, said random phrases, and made confused yet amused facial expressions. I suppose I did ok.
I forget that Canadaians don't speak some random African clicking language, and when our maple syrup friends speak to me (without a weird accent even) I find that I am amused. I said it before, and it still holds true; I'm definitely easily amused
Umm speaka inglais por favor
As usual, random people come into our office saying random things. The weirdest for the week was some civilian vomitting the name of a printer that he was looking for. Like the long technical, //, 50+ character mapping for a printer. I looked at him like "umm really", then I finally said "you're in the wrong area". It got him to leave so that was enough to satisfy me.
Happy Bday 'Merica
So in the spirit of all things 'Merican, we had a pretty cool 4th of July celebration filled with activities all day. Not that I had the opporotunity to partake in any of them, I was still glad to see a lot of the troops who work just as tirelessly as me have some downtime. We thought about telling our wonderful British counterparts "Cheers to you! Your imperialism couldn't hold us back."...but we just let it go.
For the past four days or so, I've been feeling nauseaus and suffering with headaches. After about 30 minutes it goes away, and it only happens once per day. Today I finally realized that I was making myself sick. I hadn't been taking my milaria meds as instructed, but once I read that it's the same medicine prescribed for acne I figured I had nothing to lose...except blackheads, whiteheads, and everything in between. I was so convinced that this miracle drug would work that I doubled the dose. Then as my symptoms attacked me today, I Googled the side effects of my meds. Oh what's that you say? Common side effects include naseau, diarhea, yada yada yada. Ain't nobody got time for that! I'll cut back to one per day and maybe I'll actually eat something before taking them.
Well I'm sure there are ridiculous videos on YouTube or ratchet reality TV waiting for me. Until next time my friends.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
1 Month Down Son!
What's up folks?! It's only been five days since I updated you last, but it definitely feels like an eternity. Today marks my "30-days deployed"versary! I'm excited! Well not really, but remember I'm an optimist.
This week I embarked upon a new business journey which I hope proves to be a success. I'll let you in on it in a few weeks; maybe. I've got to get some stable footing and my mind wrapped around it before I let you in on the secrets to my success :-)
Do you remember my neck injury from last month that occurred in CAST? If you're not up to speed check out Day 3.5 Basically, I hurt my neck in the vehicle egress trainer, as seen here I was given some pain meds and muscle relaxers and sent on my merry way. Here I am, say about six weeks later and I've grown used to random moments of complete disabling pain. I just deal with it for the minutes up to days that it can last. My most recent "neck freezing" as I like to call it actually sent me to the medical center. The doctor was a little baffled that I was sent down range with what she diagnosed as some big words...a pinched nerve. My neck gets stuck and then I can't move it or my right arm. I didn't see what the big deal was. Who really uses their neck and arms anyway?
She did however give me the most amazing pain shot ever and muscle relaxers that I take four times per day (YIKES). Having been around the surgical block a few times, I know good meds and that shot was just lovely. *In no way is this statement admitting or claiming to be the frequent user of any controlled substances.* BUT if the gov'ment is supplying...I'm just sayin'.
I'm glad to report that I am feeling slightly better, I've layed off weight training for a while :( Have no fear, my cut and tone regime will hopefully continue in a week or so. There is a turbo cardio kickboxing something or another that I'm starting on Monday.
What else is going on in the neighborhood?
Oh I realized that two Air Force CGOs (i.e. my room mate and I) have no clue how to react while under an attack. I had on headphones with relaxing sounds playing to drown out her snoring and she woke up and was gonna get dressed and go to safety without me! Once I realized what was going on, the two of us couldn't decide if we should stay in our room (definitely not a hardened facility) or go to a bunker or hardened facility as stated in the alert message she received. About 10 minutes later we decided to go to the building we both work in which is across from where we stay...after another three minutes to get dressed.
Pearls of wisdom: If there is ever the possibility that insurgents are on your base/camp/FOB, etc., if you're already in a locked and secured building STAY THERE; even if it isn't "hardened". I didn't feel so bad when minutes later as I looked out the window from my office I saw people running around trying to get inside of a building.
Other than that, I'm trying to make use of my [minimal] downtime while here. Maybe this new biz along with courses towards my Master's will do the trick. We shall see.
Here's to only 157 more days o_0
This week I embarked upon a new business journey which I hope proves to be a success. I'll let you in on it in a few weeks; maybe. I've got to get some stable footing and my mind wrapped around it before I let you in on the secrets to my success :-)
Do you remember my neck injury from last month that occurred in CAST? If you're not up to speed check out Day 3.5 Basically, I hurt my neck in the vehicle egress trainer, as seen here I was given some pain meds and muscle relaxers and sent on my merry way. Here I am, say about six weeks later and I've grown used to random moments of complete disabling pain. I just deal with it for the minutes up to days that it can last. My most recent "neck freezing" as I like to call it actually sent me to the medical center. The doctor was a little baffled that I was sent down range with what she diagnosed as some big words...a pinched nerve. My neck gets stuck and then I can't move it or my right arm. I didn't see what the big deal was. Who really uses their neck and arms anyway?
She did however give me the most amazing pain shot ever and muscle relaxers that I take four times per day (YIKES). Having been around the surgical block a few times, I know good meds and that shot was just lovely. *In no way is this statement admitting or claiming to be the frequent user of any controlled substances.* BUT if the gov'ment is supplying...I'm just sayin'.
I'm glad to report that I am feeling slightly better, I've layed off weight training for a while :( Have no fear, my cut and tone regime will hopefully continue in a week or so. There is a turbo cardio kickboxing something or another that I'm starting on Monday.
What else is going on in the neighborhood?
Oh I realized that two Air Force CGOs (i.e. my room mate and I) have no clue how to react while under an attack. I had on headphones with relaxing sounds playing to drown out her snoring and she woke up and was gonna get dressed and go to safety without me! Once I realized what was going on, the two of us couldn't decide if we should stay in our room (definitely not a hardened facility) or go to a bunker or hardened facility as stated in the alert message she received. About 10 minutes later we decided to go to the building we both work in which is across from where we stay...after another three minutes to get dressed.
Pearls of wisdom: If there is ever the possibility that insurgents are on your base/camp/FOB, etc., if you're already in a locked and secured building STAY THERE; even if it isn't "hardened". I didn't feel so bad when minutes later as I looked out the window from my office I saw people running around trying to get inside of a building.
Other than that, I'm trying to make use of my [minimal] downtime while here. Maybe this new biz along with courses towards my Master's will do the trick. We shall see.
Here's to only 157 more days o_0
Monday, June 24, 2013
Sure?...Unsure?
I can't deal! Why doesn't the rest of the world take hygiene as serious as [most] Americans. Seriously. To me, BO doesn't represent machismo or any sort of femininity. If I'm not mistaken, it's 2013 all across the [modern] world and there is a full array of products to cleanse and freshen your temple of flesh. There are even products in nature that won't cost you a half hour of pay to purchase and maintain a stockpile of.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest (but forever ingrained in my olfactory bulb) let's move on to other things.
So today is my mother's birthday. Say what? You want to know my point? Well of course I don't have one I just felt like sharing that. She's the one to blame for the dimwit that you've grown to love.
As usual, people are doing an excellent job at annoying the [saintly expletive] out of me. I don't know what is so hard to understand about either 1) Nope, that's not under my scope of duties and/or purview or 2) No, the correct person to contact is... It's like a revolving door of constant ridiculousness because people seem to think that I exist to do their job for them. I checked my LES and bank statements and confirmed that I'm only getting paid for the work I perform.
I did get kind of snappy with this Commander (Navy O-5 ~think Lieutenant Colonel) today. People tend to forget that I work for the Commanding General and his Chief of Staff and not them. I don't turn water into wine just because you say something is urgent. Surely, if it were THAT urgent you wouldn't have waited until the last minute to do your job then expect us, the command group minions, to work your problems for you. *woosah*
In my non-existent social life, there is nothing new to report other than my new love for a few web series that I'm now addicted to on YouTube. I am also in week two of my bodybuilding.com transformation challenge. Afghanistan doesn't lend itself to being the easiest place to eat clean, but I make due.
Well it's almost 8pm and I'm in the mood to hit the gym. Sorry for the brief post, but it's just one of those slow days-or it's possible I'm mentally retaining as little as possible while here.
Arrivederci!
Now that I've gotten that off my chest (but forever ingrained in my olfactory bulb) let's move on to other things.
So today is my mother's birthday. Say what? You want to know my point? Well of course I don't have one I just felt like sharing that. She's the one to blame for the dimwit that you've grown to love.
As usual, people are doing an excellent job at annoying the [saintly expletive] out of me. I don't know what is so hard to understand about either 1) Nope, that's not under my scope of duties and/or purview or 2) No, the correct person to contact is... It's like a revolving door of constant ridiculousness because people seem to think that I exist to do their job for them. I checked my LES and bank statements and confirmed that I'm only getting paid for the work I perform.
I did get kind of snappy with this Commander (Navy O-5 ~think Lieutenant Colonel) today. People tend to forget that I work for the Commanding General and his Chief of Staff and not them. I don't turn water into wine just because you say something is urgent. Surely, if it were THAT urgent you wouldn't have waited until the last minute to do your job then expect us, the command group minions, to work your problems for you. *woosah*
In my non-existent social life, there is nothing new to report other than my new love for a few web series that I'm now addicted to on YouTube. I am also in week two of my bodybuilding.com transformation challenge. Afghanistan doesn't lend itself to being the easiest place to eat clean, but I make due.
Well it's almost 8pm and I'm in the mood to hit the gym. Sorry for the brief post, but it's just one of those slow days-or it's possible I'm mentally retaining as little as possible while here.
Arrivederci!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Long Overdue
Hey! Hey! Hey!
It's been way too long mis amigos. I guess time flies when you're having fun and I dare not exclude you! Besides getting my butt kicked in the office and at the gym, all is well. The food hasn't gotten any better, it's getting hotter each day, and humans continue to show me how dumb they can really be. Yes, definitely fun times.
In current news:
There was no vanilla ice cream at the DFAC last night! *cue screeching dramatic music* Saturday is the one day where I treat myself to my desert of choice-vanilla ice cream, which I use to make a root bear float. Imagine my devastation when *Samil said, "No vanilla, you want strawberry?" My heart rose to my throat and I had to fight back tears. I was like "What!" as I peered into the ice cream case freezer thingy thinking if I looked really hard it may appear. Disgruntled, I took a cup of strawberry.
Yesterday, I took another trip off camp to make a visit with some folks at a facility down the street. Again, we took the gator. The exposed, not up-armored, can do you no good in a blast or against hostile fire gator. The streets were less crowded and I didn't receive as many sneers as the first time we went out. We visited the shops ran by the locals and took some cool/funny pics in handmade fur hats...pics to follow. I then had lunch with a group of Navy folks (not as awkward as I thought), until the conversation went above my IQ. Something about the Soviets, former U.S. Presidents... *shrugs* I don't know, I just continued to eat my meal.
Oohhhh, so the test I previously mentioned at a camp about 20 minutes away. I thought the drive from the airport when I arrived was the most intense of my life. Nope, that's been trumped. Thank God the PSD (personal security detail) rock, but I really hate having to go places. Kudos to the guys and gals that are out convoying and doing other kick butt stuff everyday.
What I couldn't figure out was why there were so many rocks placed throughout the streets. CAST guys were right: I think every rock is an IED. I'm just saying they are always stacked in the most weird places, but what I don't understand is how they were stacked and placed all puzzle like throughout the street. Busy streets at that. Do people weave in and out of traffic to place them?
The biggest takeaway I have every time I'm out in the city is how much I and other Americans have to be thankful for. I understand that even in the states poverty exists, but when you're in a place where the average salary is less than $500 per year it puts a totally different perspective on things. I gripe about not "having enough" while making 150 times that not to include benefits. Insane. I see children younger than my oldest son out trying to sell little trinkets all day for money. There are the housekeepers on camp who try and find extra work to make $2 and $3 more. Then there are the vendors that are allowed to setup at the weekly bizarre, but have to pay $26 to the Afghan government each time. That's a big chunk for someone who might not make a sale that day.
Well friends, the bleach from the housekeeper mopping is burning my eyes and nose decreasing my functionality. Until next time...
It's been way too long mis amigos. I guess time flies when you're having fun and I dare not exclude you! Besides getting my butt kicked in the office and at the gym, all is well. The food hasn't gotten any better, it's getting hotter each day, and humans continue to show me how dumb they can really be. Yes, definitely fun times.
In current news:
There was no vanilla ice cream at the DFAC last night! *cue screeching dramatic music* Saturday is the one day where I treat myself to my desert of choice-vanilla ice cream, which I use to make a root bear float. Imagine my devastation when *Samil said, "No vanilla, you want strawberry?" My heart rose to my throat and I had to fight back tears. I was like "What!" as I peered into the ice cream case freezer thingy thinking if I looked really hard it may appear. Disgruntled, I took a cup of strawberry.
Yesterday, I took another trip off camp to make a visit with some folks at a facility down the street. Again, we took the gator. The exposed, not up-armored, can do you no good in a blast or against hostile fire gator. The streets were less crowded and I didn't receive as many sneers as the first time we went out. We visited the shops ran by the locals and took some cool/funny pics in handmade fur hats...pics to follow. I then had lunch with a group of Navy folks (not as awkward as I thought), until the conversation went above my IQ. Something about the Soviets, former U.S. Presidents... *shrugs* I don't know, I just continued to eat my meal.
Oohhhh, so the test I previously mentioned at a camp about 20 minutes away. I thought the drive from the airport when I arrived was the most intense of my life. Nope, that's been trumped. Thank God the PSD (personal security detail) rock, but I really hate having to go places. Kudos to the guys and gals that are out convoying and doing other kick butt stuff everyday.
What I couldn't figure out was why there were so many rocks placed throughout the streets. CAST guys were right: I think every rock is an IED. I'm just saying they are always stacked in the most weird places, but what I don't understand is how they were stacked and placed all puzzle like throughout the street. Busy streets at that. Do people weave in and out of traffic to place them?
The biggest takeaway I have every time I'm out in the city is how much I and other Americans have to be thankful for. I understand that even in the states poverty exists, but when you're in a place where the average salary is less than $500 per year it puts a totally different perspective on things. I gripe about not "having enough" while making 150 times that not to include benefits. Insane. I see children younger than my oldest son out trying to sell little trinkets all day for money. There are the housekeepers on camp who try and find extra work to make $2 and $3 more. Then there are the vendors that are allowed to setup at the weekly bizarre, but have to pay $26 to the Afghan government each time. That's a big chunk for someone who might not make a sale that day.
Well friends, the bleach from the housekeeper mopping is burning my eyes and nose decreasing my functionality. Until next time...
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
This One's For You!
I'm excited to report that we (yes, you and I) have surpassed the 1,000 view mark. And what does that mean exactly?! Well nothing actually, just that there are people who are just as crazy as me for reading the stuff I write. That's ok, just remember that this is a judgment free zone and I get you...even if no one else does :-)
So what's new in my life?...
Drowning:
This morning, I rolled out of bed late as usual and mossied next door to my usual shower stall. To my surprise someone was in it! In actuality, it's not really MY shower, but it is the only one I've used since being here. I'm a one shower kinda woman, plus it fits perfectly into my acute OCD routine. I figured change couldn't hurt so I went to the other set of showers. I didn't think much of it, so I did the usual and unpacked my shower goodies and turned on the water. When I stepped in the water instantly hit me in the face! There was apparently something wrong with the crazy shower head. I flash backed to summers at Virginia Beach when my dad thought he could teach me to swim by just throwing me in the water. Umm, negative. Thank God for three summers worth of swim camp, I still may not be able to finish 100m but at least I won't drown.
It took me a good 90 seconds to realize I should just lather up without the water running. CAST prepared me for this very moment: the improvised combat shower. So I turned the water off and stopped gasping to catch a breath. Oh what a difference it makes to not feel like a fish out of water while bathing. While continuing to shower I thought to myself, "Have some of the people that designed showers not actually taken one before". I say this because I don't think I'll ever appreciate the overhead shower head. You know the kind that you can't adjust at all and you feel like you're just standing in the middle of a rain storm and forced to have the water hit you in the top of the head, then fall wherever it may.
Oh bananas:
Nope, not the fruit; my Tuesday. Oh my, Tuesday was absolutely bananas. Tuesday is my "battle day" aka we don't have days off, but we do each have a day that we report slightly later than 8 am i.e. 1pm...anyway my day started at around 10 because of non-stop emails to my Blackberry. I ran around the camp like a chicken with my head cut off to get everything finalized for an award ceremony/farewell. The 3-star commander is presenting awards to one of his personal security detail teams. I did all of this background/behind the scenes, mad dash, frantically driving other people crazy type stuff ONLY for the event to be pushed back three days. Did I just miss going to lift weights with my lunchtime crew and a required training class for them to move the event? Apparently I did, and there was nothing I could do about it. Because life has a domino effect the remainder of my day was equally ridiculous and I managed to peel away from my PC around 10:30pmish. So much for my "battle day"...better luck next week I suppose.
Vous parlez francais?
Well neither do I [that much], which is why I can't understand why someone forwarded me an email in French. Um no habla homie...I politely replied back Merci and didn't bother to use Google translate. I'm sure if it were THAT important they would've wrote in English.
I have test 2 of 3 for my Air Force PME (professional military education) today aka my Captains course via correspondence. Considering I had time to study about 2% of the information, I'm not expecting a perfect score. Failing would be kind of sad also, so if I do I'll just keep it to myself if I do :-) Really, I will.
Well folks, I've got a little under two hours to cram so I'll be back with more of my wacky tales as soon as I'm able.
Au Revoir...I said not THAT MUCH.
So what's new in my life?...
Drowning:
This morning, I rolled out of bed late as usual and mossied next door to my usual shower stall. To my surprise someone was in it! In actuality, it's not really MY shower, but it is the only one I've used since being here. I'm a one shower kinda woman, plus it fits perfectly into my acute OCD routine. I figured change couldn't hurt so I went to the other set of showers. I didn't think much of it, so I did the usual and unpacked my shower goodies and turned on the water. When I stepped in the water instantly hit me in the face! There was apparently something wrong with the crazy shower head. I flash backed to summers at Virginia Beach when my dad thought he could teach me to swim by just throwing me in the water. Umm, negative. Thank God for three summers worth of swim camp, I still may not be able to finish 100m but at least I won't drown.
It took me a good 90 seconds to realize I should just lather up without the water running. CAST prepared me for this very moment: the improvised combat shower. So I turned the water off and stopped gasping to catch a breath. Oh what a difference it makes to not feel like a fish out of water while bathing. While continuing to shower I thought to myself, "Have some of the people that designed showers not actually taken one before". I say this because I don't think I'll ever appreciate the overhead shower head. You know the kind that you can't adjust at all and you feel like you're just standing in the middle of a rain storm and forced to have the water hit you in the top of the head, then fall wherever it may.
Oh bananas:
Nope, not the fruit; my Tuesday. Oh my, Tuesday was absolutely bananas. Tuesday is my "battle day" aka we don't have days off, but we do each have a day that we report slightly later than 8 am i.e. 1pm...anyway my day started at around 10 because of non-stop emails to my Blackberry. I ran around the camp like a chicken with my head cut off to get everything finalized for an award ceremony/farewell. The 3-star commander is presenting awards to one of his personal security detail teams. I did all of this background/behind the scenes, mad dash, frantically driving other people crazy type stuff ONLY for the event to be pushed back three days. Did I just miss going to lift weights with my lunchtime crew and a required training class for them to move the event? Apparently I did, and there was nothing I could do about it. Because life has a domino effect the remainder of my day was equally ridiculous and I managed to peel away from my PC around 10:30pmish. So much for my "battle day"...better luck next week I suppose.
Vous parlez francais?
Well neither do I [that much], which is why I can't understand why someone forwarded me an email in French. Um no habla homie...I politely replied back Merci and didn't bother to use Google translate. I'm sure if it were THAT important they would've wrote in English.
I have test 2 of 3 for my Air Force PME (professional military education) today aka my Captains course via correspondence. Considering I had time to study about 2% of the information, I'm not expecting a perfect score. Failing would be kind of sad also, so if I do I'll just keep it to myself if I do :-) Really, I will.
Well folks, I've got a little under two hours to cram so I'll be back with more of my wacky tales as soon as I'm able.
Au Revoir...I said not THAT MUCH.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Happy Father's Day
I got to spend Mother's Day in sunny San Antonio (training), and Father's Day in picturesque Afghanistan plus every other holiday/significant event from now through the end of the year. Aren't I a lucky gal?
An Army Lt Col came into my office to introduce himself and told me his name. I told him I was Amazing, prior to telling him my first name. Now every time he sees me, he asks if I'm great, amazing, or darn (not his word of choice) near perfect. My response varies, but is normally a combination of all three. Goal #219, make everyone who I encounter realize how awesome I am. I'd say I'm off to a good start. The Marine who works down the hall that I previously referred to as a grumpasaurus rex came into my office yesterday just to say hello and chat. It was weird at first, but then I realized even Marines need their daily dose of my amazingness. I don't discriminate.
Random:
Two people (one Canadian, and one Yankee) asked if I were from Texas because of my accent. I like to think that my accent is colloquial and reserved for family and friends. I suppose I was wrong (in my Scarlett O'Hara voice).
So folks, I decided to join the Volunteer Community Relations committee. As always, I have found something to submerge myself in. Hopefully, I haven't bit off more than I can chew. I'm definitely looking forward to it. My first meeting was today, and I was presented a pretty cool gift-will discuss below. During the meeting, a local Afghan known as "Rocky" kept telling everyone, women included, Happy Father's Day. It was pretty funny. Ok, guess it's one of those "you gotta be there" moments
I also have attempted to plan mandatory fun, but keep getting weird looks from my cohorts. I won't give up though so I'll keep you posted.
Cool gift:
There is a civilian (American) who is like a Boy Scout liaison of sorts; don't know the exact title. Anyway he presented me with a star from an American flag, that rather being disposed of by normal/official means Boy Scouts cut and distribute to service members. A little note that was attached reads: I am part of our American Flag. I have flown over a home in the U.S.A. I can no longer fly. The sun and winds have caused me to become tattered and torn. Please carry me as a reminder that YOU are not forgotten.
It's definitely the small things that reminds folks like me of the oaths we've taken and make spending time away from those we love in places like Afghanistan worth it. I don't do this for me (obviously), but so my boys and the people of "Merica can enjoy the freedoms of our land.
Until next time...
An Army Lt Col came into my office to introduce himself and told me his name. I told him I was Amazing, prior to telling him my first name. Now every time he sees me, he asks if I'm great, amazing, or darn (not his word of choice) near perfect. My response varies, but is normally a combination of all three. Goal #219, make everyone who I encounter realize how awesome I am. I'd say I'm off to a good start. The Marine who works down the hall that I previously referred to as a grumpasaurus rex came into my office yesterday just to say hello and chat. It was weird at first, but then I realized even Marines need their daily dose of my amazingness. I don't discriminate.
Random:
Two people (one Canadian, and one Yankee) asked if I were from Texas because of my accent. I like to think that my accent is colloquial and reserved for family and friends. I suppose I was wrong (in my Scarlett O'Hara voice).
So folks, I decided to join the Volunteer Community Relations committee. As always, I have found something to submerge myself in. Hopefully, I haven't bit off more than I can chew. I'm definitely looking forward to it. My first meeting was today, and I was presented a pretty cool gift-will discuss below. During the meeting, a local Afghan known as "Rocky" kept telling everyone, women included, Happy Father's Day. It was pretty funny. Ok, guess it's one of those "you gotta be there" moments
I also have attempted to plan mandatory fun, but keep getting weird looks from my cohorts. I won't give up though so I'll keep you posted.
Cool gift:
There is a civilian (American) who is like a Boy Scout liaison of sorts; don't know the exact title. Anyway he presented me with a star from an American flag, that rather being disposed of by normal/official means Boy Scouts cut and distribute to service members. A little note that was attached reads: I am part of our American Flag. I have flown over a home in the U.S.A. I can no longer fly. The sun and winds have caused me to become tattered and torn. Please carry me as a reminder that YOU are not forgotten.
It's definitely the small things that reminds folks like me of the oaths we've taken and make spending time away from those we love in places like Afghanistan worth it. I don't do this for me (obviously), but so my boys and the people of "Merica can enjoy the freedoms of our land.
Until next time...
Saturday, June 15, 2013
What's the 411?
No, Mary J is not in the building.
Salaam friends.
The past few days have been a whirlwind of fun. Ok, I'm lying. I feel inclined to be as optimistic as possible so the suck of reality won't be so overwhelming. In reality, things aren't that bad I'm just a scrooge.
Field Trip:
I don't know if I previously told you about my trip from my camp to a location a short distance away. It's in walking distance about 10-15 minutes, but we (the Navy SPCO and I) took a gator. Let me tell you, there is nothing more daunting than riding through Afghanistan on a gator. I mean, an MRAP might be a bit much, but could we have hitched a ride in an up armored Suburban or Land Cruiser??? We stayed in the confines of what is known as the "Green Zone"; generally safe(r) than other areas in the country but still...it's Afghanistan. As we're riding, I have one hand on my weapon and I'm bracing myself to the gator with the other. I thought every Dari grafitti marking on the wall was a sign to locals of an IED, every speeding Toyota was carrying explosives, and every pedestrian local was a suicide bomber. Were these assumptions fair? Absolutely, it's my life on the line!
Each store front we passed was a suspected terrorist holdup sight [in my mind], and there was one building that had a sign indicating it was the Afghan Film Industry or Ministry of Film or something. I can't remember, all I know is I ain't fallin for it. In a country governed by corruption it's hard to trust the legitimacy of anything or anyone. Not impossible, just a little difficult.
Once we arrived at our destination it was like a new world. The first thing I noticed was the grass. Say what, say huh? There's actually grass in Afghanistan?! We managed to make our field trip last for about four hours while we visited all the exchanges (BX/PX) of the other countries, had lunch in their DFAC, hung out in the garden. Yes, garden. It's a really amazing quaint sitting area with tons of trees and shade. Really snazzy I must say.
Army Bday:
One event that I did help out with was the Army's 238th birthday celebration at our camp. I attempted to put my Protocol training to work, and in the end my General still ran amuck. Rule #1 of Protocol: Don't let your General/VIPs/Distinguished Visitors run amuck. Well mine has a mind of his own and there was nothing I could do about it. Essentially, he removed all the reserved seating signs for the function and told everybody to grab a seat NOW. What that meant was everyone scurried to a seat, including those reserved, and all the other Generals that came were left standing in the back with me. I have no problem with that, I think Protocol is somewhat overrated and unnecessary at times, but hey, that's my gig [1 of them anyway].
Food Talks:
I'm pretty sure the beef kebab I ate for dinner the other night originiated as some form of dog food. I can't confirm it, but I've convinced myself that is the case.
Other Thoughts:
Navy, why do you have ranks that aren't on my rank chart? Am I just supposed to know what YNs are? Thank God for Google.
New Ventures:
I'm considering joining a volunteer group that go on missions at schools, orphanages, local villages etc. Still a thought, don't know if I have the gaul to go outside the wire on such a frequent, non-operational mission related basis. I'll keep you posted.
Khuda Hafez...goodbye :-)
Salaam friends.
The past few days have been a whirlwind of fun. Ok, I'm lying. I feel inclined to be as optimistic as possible so the suck of reality won't be so overwhelming. In reality, things aren't that bad I'm just a scrooge.
Field Trip:
I don't know if I previously told you about my trip from my camp to a location a short distance away. It's in walking distance about 10-15 minutes, but we (the Navy SPCO and I) took a gator. Let me tell you, there is nothing more daunting than riding through Afghanistan on a gator. I mean, an MRAP might be a bit much, but could we have hitched a ride in an up armored Suburban or Land Cruiser??? We stayed in the confines of what is known as the "Green Zone"; generally safe(r) than other areas in the country but still...it's Afghanistan. As we're riding, I have one hand on my weapon and I'm bracing myself to the gator with the other. I thought every Dari grafitti marking on the wall was a sign to locals of an IED, every speeding Toyota was carrying explosives, and every pedestrian local was a suicide bomber. Were these assumptions fair? Absolutely, it's my life on the line!
Each store front we passed was a suspected terrorist holdup sight [in my mind], and there was one building that had a sign indicating it was the Afghan Film Industry or Ministry of Film or something. I can't remember, all I know is I ain't fallin for it. In a country governed by corruption it's hard to trust the legitimacy of anything or anyone. Not impossible, just a little difficult.
Once we arrived at our destination it was like a new world. The first thing I noticed was the grass. Say what, say huh? There's actually grass in Afghanistan?! We managed to make our field trip last for about four hours while we visited all the exchanges (BX/PX) of the other countries, had lunch in their DFAC, hung out in the garden. Yes, garden. It's a really amazing quaint sitting area with tons of trees and shade. Really snazzy I must say.
Army Bday:
One event that I did help out with was the Army's 238th birthday celebration at our camp. I attempted to put my Protocol training to work, and in the end my General still ran amuck. Rule #1 of Protocol: Don't let your General/VIPs/Distinguished Visitors run amuck. Well mine has a mind of his own and there was nothing I could do about it. Essentially, he removed all the reserved seating signs for the function and told everybody to grab a seat NOW. What that meant was everyone scurried to a seat, including those reserved, and all the other Generals that came were left standing in the back with me. I have no problem with that, I think Protocol is somewhat overrated and unnecessary at times, but hey, that's my gig [1 of them anyway].
Food Talks:
I'm pretty sure the beef kebab I ate for dinner the other night originiated as some form of dog food. I can't confirm it, but I've convinced myself that is the case.
Other Thoughts:
Navy, why do you have ranks that aren't on my rank chart? Am I just supposed to know what YNs are? Thank God for Google.
New Ventures:
I'm considering joining a volunteer group that go on missions at schools, orphanages, local villages etc. Still a thought, don't know if I have the gaul to go outside the wire on such a frequent, non-operational mission related basis. I'll keep you posted.
Khuda Hafez...goodbye :-)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Oh No She Didn't!
Sorry for the lag in post guys. You'd be glad to know your tax dollars are at good use and you're getting your monies worth out of me...for the most part.
I have a little over one week in country and I've been focused on getting into a stable fitness routine. Glad to say that I'm going strong, eating as clean as Afghanistan will allow, and I have some [hopefully] delicous protein shake mix arriving in a week or so. I'm also doing a six week challenge through bodybuilding.com. Maybe I'll post some before and after pics...maybe :-)
Speaking of a fitness, I'm normally in the "zone" once I hit the gym. One thing I noticed is that while working out on cardio machines (any of em) I can be doing completely fine, minding my own business...until someone starts working out on a machine next to me. At that moment I discreetly size them up. I'm checking out their pysique, assuming their current fitness levels, and trying to see what type of workout their doing. Do I have workout envy???
Just last night I'm working out in a nearly empty cardio area. There were at least 5 empty machines to my left, as I was on the one closest to the wall. And what do you know, little Ms. Hot Body jumped on the machine beside me. Really? So she gears up and starts smoking me in our unofficial competition. Oh no she didn't! So I try and pick it up, but realized a heart attack wouldn't do me any good, so I took it back down to my comfort level. In my defense I had already been working out for 30 minutes when she arrived. That must count for something. Right?
So I finished my workout and reaffirmed to myself that I too am Mrs. Hot Body/Hot Mommy/Hot Wife...it's just below the surface and I'm gradually letting it free. (Repeat 3x)
In other news, I got busted trying to send cologne through U.S. mail. There are too many rules for me, and I was just trying to send Father's Day gifts. *Note to self: purchase online and send directly to recipient. Now I want the $90 spent back in my pocket vs holding on to the gifts till I get home.
Oh guess what friends! I had my first bout of gastroentiritis aka some stomach crap. Just thought I'd share that. I did get selected to have lunch with a 2-star general. Pretty cool, good to hang out with some other Air Force peeps once in a while and stop hearing "Hooah", "Rog", "Hooah" all day.
My next goal is figuring out how to finagle a TDY while here to some sweet European country. I'll keep you posted on that.
Well friends, it's time for my afternoon workout. Adios!
I have a little over one week in country and I've been focused on getting into a stable fitness routine. Glad to say that I'm going strong, eating as clean as Afghanistan will allow, and I have some [hopefully] delicous protein shake mix arriving in a week or so. I'm also doing a six week challenge through bodybuilding.com. Maybe I'll post some before and after pics...maybe :-)
Speaking of a fitness, I'm normally in the "zone" once I hit the gym. One thing I noticed is that while working out on cardio machines (any of em) I can be doing completely fine, minding my own business...until someone starts working out on a machine next to me. At that moment I discreetly size them up. I'm checking out their pysique, assuming their current fitness levels, and trying to see what type of workout their doing. Do I have workout envy???
Just last night I'm working out in a nearly empty cardio area. There were at least 5 empty machines to my left, as I was on the one closest to the wall. And what do you know, little Ms. Hot Body jumped on the machine beside me. Really? So she gears up and starts smoking me in our unofficial competition. Oh no she didn't! So I try and pick it up, but realized a heart attack wouldn't do me any good, so I took it back down to my comfort level. In my defense I had already been working out for 30 minutes when she arrived. That must count for something. Right?
So I finished my workout and reaffirmed to myself that I too am Mrs. Hot Body/Hot Mommy/Hot Wife...it's just below the surface and I'm gradually letting it free. (Repeat 3x)
In other news, I got busted trying to send cologne through U.S. mail. There are too many rules for me, and I was just trying to send Father's Day gifts. *Note to self: purchase online and send directly to recipient. Now I want the $90 spent back in my pocket vs holding on to the gifts till I get home.
Oh guess what friends! I had my first bout of gastroentiritis aka some stomach crap. Just thought I'd share that. I did get selected to have lunch with a 2-star general. Pretty cool, good to hang out with some other Air Force peeps once in a while and stop hearing "Hooah", "Rog", "Hooah" all day.
My next goal is figuring out how to finagle a TDY while here to some sweet European country. I'll keep you posted on that.
Well friends, it's time for my afternoon workout. Adios!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
...I Forgot to Mention
Throughout the day I sometimes write down things on Post-Its, or in a small notepad I keep in my pocket to trigger my memory for things to blog about. I forgot some things during my trip and felt like posting. Better late than never...
When leaving Bagram Air Field:
As I walked across the flight line I could not help but take in the beautiful landscape of the mountains. When I looked at them, I didn't see the ugliness that sits beyond them or the hate embedded in them. I only saw beauty. Beauty that only God could create that can never be matched or duplicated by man.
While on the flight from Bagram:
Oh boy, a C-130. The last time I was on this type of aircraft was in JROTC on a trip to Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Ohio. That trip was extremely fun minus flying in Blues and freezing. This time was equally uncomfortable with my IBA see here suffocating me.
Random thoughts:
When I hear members of our Coalition forces (partners in crime) speaking their native language I have random urges to jump in their convos (conversations for my senior citizens). Especially the French! Ooh la la, haun haun, croissant! I'm practically fluent. Well I should be, after 4 years of French including AP French in high school and 3 years of it in college. Unfortunately, that was flushed from my memory to make room for all the other useless info in my brain.
I also find that I'm easily amused. Prime example; when I see non-American negroes, I want to ask them to take photos with me for Facebook. Yes, I know black people exist outside of America, but I don't get to see them everyday and I don't get to work with them especially in a military setting, like ever! There's this one guy who is just super cool to me. I know he thinks I'm creepy, but whatevs. I don't know what country he's from, but he's the only one with skin like mine that I've seen so far that wears his nation's uniform. I saw a Canadian negro girl today and we made quick awkward eye contact while walking past each other. Maybe she was thinking the same thing I was thinking.
That's all for now!
When leaving Bagram Air Field:
As I walked across the flight line I could not help but take in the beautiful landscape of the mountains. When I looked at them, I didn't see the ugliness that sits beyond them or the hate embedded in them. I only saw beauty. Beauty that only God could create that can never be matched or duplicated by man.
While on the flight from Bagram:
Oh boy, a C-130. The last time I was on this type of aircraft was in JROTC on a trip to Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Ohio. That trip was extremely fun minus flying in Blues and freezing. This time was equally uncomfortable with my IBA see here suffocating me.
Random thoughts:
When I hear members of our Coalition forces (partners in crime) speaking their native language I have random urges to jump in their convos (conversations for my senior citizens). Especially the French! Ooh la la, haun haun, croissant! I'm practically fluent. Well I should be, after 4 years of French including AP French in high school and 3 years of it in college. Unfortunately, that was flushed from my memory to make room for all the other useless info in my brain.
I also find that I'm easily amused. Prime example; when I see non-American negroes, I want to ask them to take photos with me for Facebook. Yes, I know black people exist outside of America, but I don't get to see them everyday and I don't get to work with them especially in a military setting, like ever! There's this one guy who is just super cool to me. I know he thinks I'm creepy, but whatevs. I don't know what country he's from, but he's the only one with skin like mine that I've seen so far that wears his nation's uniform. I saw a Canadian negro girl today and we made quick awkward eye contact while walking past each other. Maybe she was thinking the same thing I was thinking.
That's all for now!
More Photo Fun
 |
| Thank God for the photo and English translation |
 |
| White Toyotas, trucks with guns, and mountains=my daily view |
 |
| Breakfast again :-) my day revolves around my meals |
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| So, there's a village that close huh? |
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| Look closely...I really love mountain views |
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| Suppress my emotions with food...just kidding, but I couldn't pass this meal up |
Quick Pics
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| $8! Yikes |
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| A view from Bagram Air Field |
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| Mmm breakfast |
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| Hydrate!...in any language |
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| My favorite drink |
Day 27 It's the Weekend Baby!
And you know what that means?! Absolutely nothing. Just another day in paradise, and today I'm only working 11 hours instead of 12. Go on, raise the roof!
The pace has begun to pick up as I begin to actually do work now. All systems are a go, and I'm officially dangerous enough to mess some things up. The first order of business was a stack (of about 10) award packages that were returned to me for edits yesterday. They were turned in by my predecessor over a month ago, yet the final processing authority somehow sat on them until now. Interesting methodology. It should be known that other people's emergencies don't and never will constitue an emergency on my part. Unless of course it's an actual 9-1-1 lost of limb or life emergency, but you catch my drift. So I hammered away at those until about 8:30 last night, and finished the rest this morning.
In regards to official work, I also completed my first protocol event. What is this protocol I speak of? Check here > Air Froce Protocol
It was pretty interesting and definitely isn't rocket science, which would definitely explain why I'm in charge of that area. Funny enough my "official" deployment tasking was specifically for protocol, but all of my military peeps out there knows that means, you'll do whatever the General or Colonel needs you to do, especially if you're deploying with another branch. Like in my case, with the Army. My primary job is this > MY JOB and protocol is an added bonus.
*Question for my friends stationed overseas, how do you deal with AFN? I am new to this, and as much as I appreciate the eight or so stations we have, the programming and lame military commercials are driving me crazy.
It's Saturday here, and things are pretty quiet. Today or tomorrow I will take a field trip off Camp E Where I Work/Live/Play to ISAF HQ which I'm looking forward to. I hear the overpriced handmade pizza is amazing, and they have all the coalition exchanges so maybe I'll find some cool stuff.
I'm told there are kids everywhere at the entryway and they grab on you and will take anything they can get; pens, military patches, etc. They should be warned that I fight anyone between the ages of 8-80. A wise advisor told me to just kick them in the chest. I am willing to do that as well as pistol whip and headbutt them with my Kevlar <<<seriously :-) Maybe I'll buy some candy, and give it to them even though I'm sure they prefer cash.
Oh by the way *Amir apparently got a working vacuum, I heard it earlier this morning. I also may buckle soon and have him iron my uniforms. He charges $3 to wash and iron, and I feel like doing so would go a long way for his family. I'll pay him in Afghan dollars though, definitely not trying to push any more US dollars into their currency system. Don't want the Taliban sending me a thank you note. That's another subject.
It's nearly 2 p.m. and I have an appointment. Will check in with you guys later.
The pace has begun to pick up as I begin to actually do work now. All systems are a go, and I'm officially dangerous enough to mess some things up. The first order of business was a stack (of about 10) award packages that were returned to me for edits yesterday. They were turned in by my predecessor over a month ago, yet the final processing authority somehow sat on them until now. Interesting methodology. It should be known that other people's emergencies don't and never will constitue an emergency on my part. Unless of course it's an actual 9-1-1 lost of limb or life emergency, but you catch my drift. So I hammered away at those until about 8:30 last night, and finished the rest this morning.
In regards to official work, I also completed my first protocol event. What is this protocol I speak of? Check here > Air Froce Protocol
It was pretty interesting and definitely isn't rocket science, which would definitely explain why I'm in charge of that area. Funny enough my "official" deployment tasking was specifically for protocol, but all of my military peeps out there knows that means, you'll do whatever the General or Colonel needs you to do, especially if you're deploying with another branch. Like in my case, with the Army. My primary job is this > MY JOB and protocol is an added bonus.
*Question for my friends stationed overseas, how do you deal with AFN? I am new to this, and as much as I appreciate the eight or so stations we have, the programming and lame military commercials are driving me crazy.
It's Saturday here, and things are pretty quiet. Today or tomorrow I will take a field trip off Camp E Where I Work/Live/Play to ISAF HQ which I'm looking forward to. I hear the overpriced handmade pizza is amazing, and they have all the coalition exchanges so maybe I'll find some cool stuff.
I'm told there are kids everywhere at the entryway and they grab on you and will take anything they can get; pens, military patches, etc. They should be warned that I fight anyone between the ages of 8-80. A wise advisor told me to just kick them in the chest. I am willing to do that as well as pistol whip and headbutt them with my Kevlar <<<seriously :-) Maybe I'll buy some candy, and give it to them even though I'm sure they prefer cash.
Oh by the way *Amir apparently got a working vacuum, I heard it earlier this morning. I also may buckle soon and have him iron my uniforms. He charges $3 to wash and iron, and I feel like doing so would go a long way for his family. I'll pay him in Afghan dollars though, definitely not trying to push any more US dollars into their currency system. Don't want the Taliban sending me a thank you note. That's another subject.
It's nearly 2 p.m. and I have an appointment. Will check in with you guys later.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Day 26.5 Who's Bad?!
Even though I did a post this morning, I'm on some kind of non-molly writing high. (Expecting random urinalysis the moment I get back to the states)
I just realized that the Chaplain with the unnecessary death grip handshake looks like Lou Gosset, Jr. Yes, Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley himself (google it you whippersnappers). That explains his superiority complex.
Today I noticed that everytime watermelon is offered in the DFAC I partake. I generally bring my meals back to the office and eat, so I eat my watermelon prim and proper with a fork. Today however, my co-worker stepped out of the office for a moment and I went face first into my wallamellon. I almost got barefoot and started singing old negro spirituals, but I quickly remembered my surroundings and wiped the juice off my face.
Walking back to my office, a group of locals were walking towards me and the area around the street was less populated than usual. They were all chatty and walking side by side extending the width of the road, and at that moment I felt like the only person on the camp. I felt like MJ in the "Beat It" video. In my mind my OCPs (uniform) transformed into a red leather jacket, and rather than slick dance moves and a dance-off, I was thinking how many rounds were in the clip of my M9. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any urge or desire to shoot or harm innocent Afghans BUT I do have cat like reflexes and I am always on guard. That's all.
I think I creeped out a Marine Major today. He asked how I was doing, and I exclaimed (litearlly), "Outfreakinstanding". He had a bewildered look on his face like "really". I told him I might as well claim it and maybe it will be contagious so people around me won't mope around. He then smiled, probably because he thinks I'm weird, but whatevs I made the guy that everyone thinks is a grumpasaurus rex smile :-)
Yay, 20 more minutes in my 12 hour workday!
Adios mis amigos
I just realized that the Chaplain with the unnecessary death grip handshake looks like Lou Gosset, Jr. Yes, Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley himself (google it you whippersnappers). That explains his superiority complex.
Today I noticed that everytime watermelon is offered in the DFAC I partake. I generally bring my meals back to the office and eat, so I eat my watermelon prim and proper with a fork. Today however, my co-worker stepped out of the office for a moment and I went face first into my wallamellon. I almost got barefoot and started singing old negro spirituals, but I quickly remembered my surroundings and wiped the juice off my face.
Walking back to my office, a group of locals were walking towards me and the area around the street was less populated than usual. They were all chatty and walking side by side extending the width of the road, and at that moment I felt like the only person on the camp. I felt like MJ in the "Beat It" video. In my mind my OCPs (uniform) transformed into a red leather jacket, and rather than slick dance moves and a dance-off, I was thinking how many rounds were in the clip of my M9. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any urge or desire to shoot or harm innocent Afghans BUT I do have cat like reflexes and I am always on guard. That's all.
I think I creeped out a Marine Major today. He asked how I was doing, and I exclaimed (litearlly), "Outfreakinstanding". He had a bewildered look on his face like "really". I told him I might as well claim it and maybe it will be contagious so people around me won't mope around. He then smiled, probably because he thinks I'm weird, but whatevs I made the guy that everyone thinks is a grumpasaurus rex smile :-)
Yay, 20 more minutes in my 12 hour workday!
Adios mis amigos
Day 26 Public Enemy #1
Have you ever been around someone that has a habit or they do something so utterly disgusting that it makes your skin crawl; or even worse, you throw up in your mouth?
For some reason, I think that's how *Akbar feels each time I ask for bacon at breakfast. *Akbar is one of the contractors that works in the DFAC (dining facility for you newbies). To preface this, I should let it be known that at my home pork is a no-go. We don't purchase or consume it (because my husband is a tyrant), so pardon me for letting my hair down and eating a piece of bacon or so (like 10) every now and then (almost daily)...guilty pleasure.
When I first arrived in Afghanistan, the base I was at did not have pork products so I ate my grits with turkey bacon and I was completely fine with that. Then, I arrived to good 'ol Camp E and they have bacon, like real pork bacon! It was like the gates of heaven opened for a brief moment as to give sinners hope that all was not lost. I felt inclined to partake in the swine. I figured if they were serving it then they surely would not mind if us freedom fighters consumed it. Well, boy was I wrong. Each time I step up in the line and politely say, "Bacon please", Akbar's face looks as if I have cursed Allah. Hey brother I'm on your side (*side eye*, not really). But don't judge me. Out of respect and because of alcohol being illegal, only non-alcohol beer is sold at the PX. Maybe they should take out the pork bacon in the DFACs and only serve turkey bacon, even goat bacon. I don't really care, I just don't want my face engrained in the memory of any Afghani as a filthy American pork lover. I'm much more than that :-)
The water situation:
As previously mentioned, the water in the bathroom/showers is disinfected, non-potatble. Meaning safe to bathe, not to consume. While showering last night I noticed a very "bleachy" smell. I thought oh, the must've really loaded it on when cleaning the showers. I then realized my loofah also had a bleach-like scent. This led to the conclusion that the smell must actually be the water. For the record, I understand how both water sanitation and purificiation works. What I wonder however, is if there is a correct balance of water vs. chemical content. For those of you that know me, know that I would never tryingly bleach my skin, so if I return to the states looking like either the white Michael Jackson or the 201Xish Tamar Braxton, it was not of my own doing.
For some reason, I think that's how *Akbar feels each time I ask for bacon at breakfast. *Akbar is one of the contractors that works in the DFAC (dining facility for you newbies). To preface this, I should let it be known that at my home pork is a no-go. We don't purchase or consume it (because my husband is a tyrant), so pardon me for letting my hair down and eating a piece of bacon or so (like 10) every now and then (almost daily)...guilty pleasure.
When I first arrived in Afghanistan, the base I was at did not have pork products so I ate my grits with turkey bacon and I was completely fine with that. Then, I arrived to good 'ol Camp E and they have bacon, like real pork bacon! It was like the gates of heaven opened for a brief moment as to give sinners hope that all was not lost. I felt inclined to partake in the swine. I figured if they were serving it then they surely would not mind if us freedom fighters consumed it. Well, boy was I wrong. Each time I step up in the line and politely say, "Bacon please", Akbar's face looks as if I have cursed Allah. Hey brother I'm on your side (*side eye*, not really). But don't judge me. Out of respect and because of alcohol being illegal, only non-alcohol beer is sold at the PX. Maybe they should take out the pork bacon in the DFACs and only serve turkey bacon, even goat bacon. I don't really care, I just don't want my face engrained in the memory of any Afghani as a filthy American pork lover. I'm much more than that :-)
The water situation:
As previously mentioned, the water in the bathroom/showers is disinfected, non-potatble. Meaning safe to bathe, not to consume. While showering last night I noticed a very "bleachy" smell. I thought oh, the must've really loaded it on when cleaning the showers. I then realized my loofah also had a bleach-like scent. This led to the conclusion that the smell must actually be the water. For the record, I understand how both water sanitation and purificiation works. What I wonder however, is if there is a correct balance of water vs. chemical content. For those of you that know me, know that I would never tryingly bleach my skin, so if I return to the states looking like either the white Michael Jackson or the 201Xish Tamar Braxton, it was not of my own doing.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Handshake Felt Around the World
I am continuing to get settled into my job, and I must say
that it’s probably the most interesting in my career. The people, the personalities, and sheer
circumstances while being deployed; all ingredients for big fun.
I’m going to rewind briefly to this morning then I’ll
reflect on yesterday.
As I came into my building this morning for work *Amir (the
housekeeper) is the first person I see.
I say, “Good morning”, and he quickly goes into a rant about both the
vacuum cleaners in the building being broken so he couldn’t vacuum. Um, ok.
As a mother, I know that anytime someone starts vomiting random
information that they are usually guilty of something. In my head I’m thinking I need to cordon off
the building and have EOD do a sweep of the building! After at least 90 seconds of explaining and
doing hand motions about the vacuum I told him I’ll let someone know. I saw that there was one more person in the
building this morning, one of our IT people.
She’s in the Navy, so if I screamed for help she’s well suited to assist
right? Wait, they all aren’t SEALs???
Everything appeared ok so I dropped my things off to work
then headed to grab some breakfast to bring back to the office. On the way there I saw a Captain who
attended CAST with me. He confirmed even
people that rode the short bus can earn a commission if their timing is
right. Anyway, he informed me that he
was on his way to his office. ..wearing full battle rattle. At our location you only “suit up” when you
go outside the wire aka leave the confines of the camp. I was a bit confused by his wear of the gear
but I figured “Whatev, he’s got this…hopefully” -_-. On top of this he gave me his usual weak
partial handshake. The kind where the
person only uses their fingers to grab yours.
Ugh, it’s like holding a handful of wet noodles; just gross.
Fast forward to yesterday:
I met a lot of people, went to a meeting with nothing but Army
Colonels and didn’t understand a single thing, and got in my usual gym time. At the meeting there was a Romanian and
Aussie Colonel too. When the Romanian
started to speak I may as well not have even been in the room. And by the look of the faces of the ‘Mericans
, they might as well not have been there neither. Due to the nature of my job, people are
constantly in and out trying to get face time (introduce themselves) with hope
that enough rapport will be built to work a few favors if ever needed. One meet and greet in particular is forever engrained
in my elephant memory. The command
chaplain stopped by to introduce his replacement. As usual, I flashed a smile with a quick
hello and I shook the hand of the new guy.
The current chaplain then reached for my hand and with as much machismo
possible, clenched my hand as if he was looking into the soul of the
Taliban. It was the kind of death grip
that you can’t even spread your fingers to break out of. He should consider selling a bit of that
ego/testosterone to the Captain in hopes they both find a healthy balance.
I’m attempting to settle into a routine that maximizes my
time here. Definitely a work in
progress, but at least everything is going well for me. Well until next time friends, bye bye.
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