What's up folks?! It's only been five days since I updated you last, but it definitely feels like an eternity. Today marks my "30-days deployed"versary! I'm excited! Well not really, but remember I'm an optimist.
This week I embarked upon a new business journey which I hope proves to be a success. I'll let you in on it in a few weeks; maybe. I've got to get some stable footing and my mind wrapped around it before I let you in on the secrets to my success :-)
Do you remember my neck injury from last month that occurred in CAST? If you're not up to speed check out Day 3.5 Basically, I hurt my neck in the vehicle egress trainer, as seen here I was given some pain meds and muscle relaxers and sent on my merry way. Here I am, say about six weeks later and I've grown used to random moments of complete disabling pain. I just deal with it for the minutes up to days that it can last. My most recent "neck freezing" as I like to call it actually sent me to the medical center. The doctor was a little baffled that I was sent down range with what she diagnosed as some big words...a pinched nerve. My neck gets stuck and then I can't move it or my right arm. I didn't see what the big deal was. Who really uses their neck and arms anyway?
She did however give me the most amazing pain shot ever and muscle relaxers that I take four times per day (YIKES). Having been around the surgical block a few times, I know good meds and that shot was just lovely. *In no way is this statement admitting or claiming to be the frequent user of any controlled substances.* BUT if the gov'ment is supplying...I'm just sayin'.
I'm glad to report that I am feeling slightly better, I've layed off weight training for a while :( Have no fear, my cut and tone regime will hopefully continue in a week or so. There is a turbo cardio kickboxing something or another that I'm starting on Monday.
What else is going on in the neighborhood?
Oh I realized that two Air Force CGOs (i.e. my room mate and I) have no clue how to react while under an attack. I had on headphones with relaxing sounds playing to drown out her snoring and she woke up and was gonna get dressed and go to safety without me! Once I realized what was going on, the two of us couldn't decide if we should stay in our room (definitely not a hardened facility) or go to a bunker or hardened facility as stated in the alert message she received. About 10 minutes later we decided to go to the building we both work in which is across from where we stay...after another three minutes to get dressed.
Pearls of wisdom: If there is ever the possibility that insurgents are on your base/camp/FOB, etc., if you're already in a locked and secured building STAY THERE; even if it isn't "hardened". I didn't feel so bad when minutes later as I looked out the window from my office I saw people running around trying to get inside of a building.
Other than that, I'm trying to make use of my [minimal] downtime while here. Maybe this new biz along with courses towards my Master's will do the trick. We shall see.
Here's to only 157 more days o_0
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
Sure?...Unsure?
I can't deal! Why doesn't the rest of the world take hygiene as serious as [most] Americans. Seriously. To me, BO doesn't represent machismo or any sort of femininity. If I'm not mistaken, it's 2013 all across the [modern] world and there is a full array of products to cleanse and freshen your temple of flesh. There are even products in nature that won't cost you a half hour of pay to purchase and maintain a stockpile of.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest (but forever ingrained in my olfactory bulb) let's move on to other things.
So today is my mother's birthday. Say what? You want to know my point? Well of course I don't have one I just felt like sharing that. She's the one to blame for the dimwit that you've grown to love.
As usual, people are doing an excellent job at annoying the [saintly expletive] out of me. I don't know what is so hard to understand about either 1) Nope, that's not under my scope of duties and/or purview or 2) No, the correct person to contact is... It's like a revolving door of constant ridiculousness because people seem to think that I exist to do their job for them. I checked my LES and bank statements and confirmed that I'm only getting paid for the work I perform.
I did get kind of snappy with this Commander (Navy O-5 ~think Lieutenant Colonel) today. People tend to forget that I work for the Commanding General and his Chief of Staff and not them. I don't turn water into wine just because you say something is urgent. Surely, if it were THAT urgent you wouldn't have waited until the last minute to do your job then expect us, the command group minions, to work your problems for you. *woosah*
In my non-existent social life, there is nothing new to report other than my new love for a few web series that I'm now addicted to on YouTube. I am also in week two of my bodybuilding.com transformation challenge. Afghanistan doesn't lend itself to being the easiest place to eat clean, but I make due.
Well it's almost 8pm and I'm in the mood to hit the gym. Sorry for the brief post, but it's just one of those slow days-or it's possible I'm mentally retaining as little as possible while here.
Arrivederci!
Now that I've gotten that off my chest (but forever ingrained in my olfactory bulb) let's move on to other things.
So today is my mother's birthday. Say what? You want to know my point? Well of course I don't have one I just felt like sharing that. She's the one to blame for the dimwit that you've grown to love.
As usual, people are doing an excellent job at annoying the [saintly expletive] out of me. I don't know what is so hard to understand about either 1) Nope, that's not under my scope of duties and/or purview or 2) No, the correct person to contact is... It's like a revolving door of constant ridiculousness because people seem to think that I exist to do their job for them. I checked my LES and bank statements and confirmed that I'm only getting paid for the work I perform.
I did get kind of snappy with this Commander (Navy O-5 ~think Lieutenant Colonel) today. People tend to forget that I work for the Commanding General and his Chief of Staff and not them. I don't turn water into wine just because you say something is urgent. Surely, if it were THAT urgent you wouldn't have waited until the last minute to do your job then expect us, the command group minions, to work your problems for you. *woosah*
In my non-existent social life, there is nothing new to report other than my new love for a few web series that I'm now addicted to on YouTube. I am also in week two of my bodybuilding.com transformation challenge. Afghanistan doesn't lend itself to being the easiest place to eat clean, but I make due.
Well it's almost 8pm and I'm in the mood to hit the gym. Sorry for the brief post, but it's just one of those slow days-or it's possible I'm mentally retaining as little as possible while here.
Arrivederci!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Long Overdue
Hey! Hey! Hey!
It's been way too long mis amigos. I guess time flies when you're having fun and I dare not exclude you! Besides getting my butt kicked in the office and at the gym, all is well. The food hasn't gotten any better, it's getting hotter each day, and humans continue to show me how dumb they can really be. Yes, definitely fun times.
In current news:
There was no vanilla ice cream at the DFAC last night! *cue screeching dramatic music* Saturday is the one day where I treat myself to my desert of choice-vanilla ice cream, which I use to make a root bear float. Imagine my devastation when *Samil said, "No vanilla, you want strawberry?" My heart rose to my throat and I had to fight back tears. I was like "What!" as I peered into the ice cream case freezer thingy thinking if I looked really hard it may appear. Disgruntled, I took a cup of strawberry.
Yesterday, I took another trip off camp to make a visit with some folks at a facility down the street. Again, we took the gator. The exposed, not up-armored, can do you no good in a blast or against hostile fire gator. The streets were less crowded and I didn't receive as many sneers as the first time we went out. We visited the shops ran by the locals and took some cool/funny pics in handmade fur hats...pics to follow. I then had lunch with a group of Navy folks (not as awkward as I thought), until the conversation went above my IQ. Something about the Soviets, former U.S. Presidents... *shrugs* I don't know, I just continued to eat my meal.
Oohhhh, so the test I previously mentioned at a camp about 20 minutes away. I thought the drive from the airport when I arrived was the most intense of my life. Nope, that's been trumped. Thank God the PSD (personal security detail) rock, but I really hate having to go places. Kudos to the guys and gals that are out convoying and doing other kick butt stuff everyday.
What I couldn't figure out was why there were so many rocks placed throughout the streets. CAST guys were right: I think every rock is an IED. I'm just saying they are always stacked in the most weird places, but what I don't understand is how they were stacked and placed all puzzle like throughout the street. Busy streets at that. Do people weave in and out of traffic to place them?
The biggest takeaway I have every time I'm out in the city is how much I and other Americans have to be thankful for. I understand that even in the states poverty exists, but when you're in a place where the average salary is less than $500 per year it puts a totally different perspective on things. I gripe about not "having enough" while making 150 times that not to include benefits. Insane. I see children younger than my oldest son out trying to sell little trinkets all day for money. There are the housekeepers on camp who try and find extra work to make $2 and $3 more. Then there are the vendors that are allowed to setup at the weekly bizarre, but have to pay $26 to the Afghan government each time. That's a big chunk for someone who might not make a sale that day.
Well friends, the bleach from the housekeeper mopping is burning my eyes and nose decreasing my functionality. Until next time...
It's been way too long mis amigos. I guess time flies when you're having fun and I dare not exclude you! Besides getting my butt kicked in the office and at the gym, all is well. The food hasn't gotten any better, it's getting hotter each day, and humans continue to show me how dumb they can really be. Yes, definitely fun times.
In current news:
There was no vanilla ice cream at the DFAC last night! *cue screeching dramatic music* Saturday is the one day where I treat myself to my desert of choice-vanilla ice cream, which I use to make a root bear float. Imagine my devastation when *Samil said, "No vanilla, you want strawberry?" My heart rose to my throat and I had to fight back tears. I was like "What!" as I peered into the ice cream case freezer thingy thinking if I looked really hard it may appear. Disgruntled, I took a cup of strawberry.
Yesterday, I took another trip off camp to make a visit with some folks at a facility down the street. Again, we took the gator. The exposed, not up-armored, can do you no good in a blast or against hostile fire gator. The streets were less crowded and I didn't receive as many sneers as the first time we went out. We visited the shops ran by the locals and took some cool/funny pics in handmade fur hats...pics to follow. I then had lunch with a group of Navy folks (not as awkward as I thought), until the conversation went above my IQ. Something about the Soviets, former U.S. Presidents... *shrugs* I don't know, I just continued to eat my meal.
Oohhhh, so the test I previously mentioned at a camp about 20 minutes away. I thought the drive from the airport when I arrived was the most intense of my life. Nope, that's been trumped. Thank God the PSD (personal security detail) rock, but I really hate having to go places. Kudos to the guys and gals that are out convoying and doing other kick butt stuff everyday.
What I couldn't figure out was why there were so many rocks placed throughout the streets. CAST guys were right: I think every rock is an IED. I'm just saying they are always stacked in the most weird places, but what I don't understand is how they were stacked and placed all puzzle like throughout the street. Busy streets at that. Do people weave in and out of traffic to place them?
The biggest takeaway I have every time I'm out in the city is how much I and other Americans have to be thankful for. I understand that even in the states poverty exists, but when you're in a place where the average salary is less than $500 per year it puts a totally different perspective on things. I gripe about not "having enough" while making 150 times that not to include benefits. Insane. I see children younger than my oldest son out trying to sell little trinkets all day for money. There are the housekeepers on camp who try and find extra work to make $2 and $3 more. Then there are the vendors that are allowed to setup at the weekly bizarre, but have to pay $26 to the Afghan government each time. That's a big chunk for someone who might not make a sale that day.
Well friends, the bleach from the housekeeper mopping is burning my eyes and nose decreasing my functionality. Until next time...
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
This One's For You!
I'm excited to report that we (yes, you and I) have surpassed the 1,000 view mark. And what does that mean exactly?! Well nothing actually, just that there are people who are just as crazy as me for reading the stuff I write. That's ok, just remember that this is a judgment free zone and I get you...even if no one else does :-)
So what's new in my life?...
Drowning:
This morning, I rolled out of bed late as usual and mossied next door to my usual shower stall. To my surprise someone was in it! In actuality, it's not really MY shower, but it is the only one I've used since being here. I'm a one shower kinda woman, plus it fits perfectly into my acute OCD routine. I figured change couldn't hurt so I went to the other set of showers. I didn't think much of it, so I did the usual and unpacked my shower goodies and turned on the water. When I stepped in the water instantly hit me in the face! There was apparently something wrong with the crazy shower head. I flash backed to summers at Virginia Beach when my dad thought he could teach me to swim by just throwing me in the water. Umm, negative. Thank God for three summers worth of swim camp, I still may not be able to finish 100m but at least I won't drown.
It took me a good 90 seconds to realize I should just lather up without the water running. CAST prepared me for this very moment: the improvised combat shower. So I turned the water off and stopped gasping to catch a breath. Oh what a difference it makes to not feel like a fish out of water while bathing. While continuing to shower I thought to myself, "Have some of the people that designed showers not actually taken one before". I say this because I don't think I'll ever appreciate the overhead shower head. You know the kind that you can't adjust at all and you feel like you're just standing in the middle of a rain storm and forced to have the water hit you in the top of the head, then fall wherever it may.
Oh bananas:
Nope, not the fruit; my Tuesday. Oh my, Tuesday was absolutely bananas. Tuesday is my "battle day" aka we don't have days off, but we do each have a day that we report slightly later than 8 am i.e. 1pm...anyway my day started at around 10 because of non-stop emails to my Blackberry. I ran around the camp like a chicken with my head cut off to get everything finalized for an award ceremony/farewell. The 3-star commander is presenting awards to one of his personal security detail teams. I did all of this background/behind the scenes, mad dash, frantically driving other people crazy type stuff ONLY for the event to be pushed back three days. Did I just miss going to lift weights with my lunchtime crew and a required training class for them to move the event? Apparently I did, and there was nothing I could do about it. Because life has a domino effect the remainder of my day was equally ridiculous and I managed to peel away from my PC around 10:30pmish. So much for my "battle day"...better luck next week I suppose.
Vous parlez francais?
Well neither do I [that much], which is why I can't understand why someone forwarded me an email in French. Um no habla homie...I politely replied back Merci and didn't bother to use Google translate. I'm sure if it were THAT important they would've wrote in English.
I have test 2 of 3 for my Air Force PME (professional military education) today aka my Captains course via correspondence. Considering I had time to study about 2% of the information, I'm not expecting a perfect score. Failing would be kind of sad also, so if I do I'll just keep it to myself if I do :-) Really, I will.
Well folks, I've got a little under two hours to cram so I'll be back with more of my wacky tales as soon as I'm able.
Au Revoir...I said not THAT MUCH.
So what's new in my life?...
Drowning:
This morning, I rolled out of bed late as usual and mossied next door to my usual shower stall. To my surprise someone was in it! In actuality, it's not really MY shower, but it is the only one I've used since being here. I'm a one shower kinda woman, plus it fits perfectly into my acute OCD routine. I figured change couldn't hurt so I went to the other set of showers. I didn't think much of it, so I did the usual and unpacked my shower goodies and turned on the water. When I stepped in the water instantly hit me in the face! There was apparently something wrong with the crazy shower head. I flash backed to summers at Virginia Beach when my dad thought he could teach me to swim by just throwing me in the water. Umm, negative. Thank God for three summers worth of swim camp, I still may not be able to finish 100m but at least I won't drown.
It took me a good 90 seconds to realize I should just lather up without the water running. CAST prepared me for this very moment: the improvised combat shower. So I turned the water off and stopped gasping to catch a breath. Oh what a difference it makes to not feel like a fish out of water while bathing. While continuing to shower I thought to myself, "Have some of the people that designed showers not actually taken one before". I say this because I don't think I'll ever appreciate the overhead shower head. You know the kind that you can't adjust at all and you feel like you're just standing in the middle of a rain storm and forced to have the water hit you in the top of the head, then fall wherever it may.
Oh bananas:
Nope, not the fruit; my Tuesday. Oh my, Tuesday was absolutely bananas. Tuesday is my "battle day" aka we don't have days off, but we do each have a day that we report slightly later than 8 am i.e. 1pm...anyway my day started at around 10 because of non-stop emails to my Blackberry. I ran around the camp like a chicken with my head cut off to get everything finalized for an award ceremony/farewell. The 3-star commander is presenting awards to one of his personal security detail teams. I did all of this background/behind the scenes, mad dash, frantically driving other people crazy type stuff ONLY for the event to be pushed back three days. Did I just miss going to lift weights with my lunchtime crew and a required training class for them to move the event? Apparently I did, and there was nothing I could do about it. Because life has a domino effect the remainder of my day was equally ridiculous and I managed to peel away from my PC around 10:30pmish. So much for my "battle day"...better luck next week I suppose.
Vous parlez francais?
Well neither do I [that much], which is why I can't understand why someone forwarded me an email in French. Um no habla homie...I politely replied back Merci and didn't bother to use Google translate. I'm sure if it were THAT important they would've wrote in English.
I have test 2 of 3 for my Air Force PME (professional military education) today aka my Captains course via correspondence. Considering I had time to study about 2% of the information, I'm not expecting a perfect score. Failing would be kind of sad also, so if I do I'll just keep it to myself if I do :-) Really, I will.
Well folks, I've got a little under two hours to cram so I'll be back with more of my wacky tales as soon as I'm able.
Au Revoir...I said not THAT MUCH.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Happy Father's Day
I got to spend Mother's Day in sunny San Antonio (training), and Father's Day in picturesque Afghanistan plus every other holiday/significant event from now through the end of the year. Aren't I a lucky gal?
An Army Lt Col came into my office to introduce himself and told me his name. I told him I was Amazing, prior to telling him my first name. Now every time he sees me, he asks if I'm great, amazing, or darn (not his word of choice) near perfect. My response varies, but is normally a combination of all three. Goal #219, make everyone who I encounter realize how awesome I am. I'd say I'm off to a good start. The Marine who works down the hall that I previously referred to as a grumpasaurus rex came into my office yesterday just to say hello and chat. It was weird at first, but then I realized even Marines need their daily dose of my amazingness. I don't discriminate.
Random:
Two people (one Canadian, and one Yankee) asked if I were from Texas because of my accent. I like to think that my accent is colloquial and reserved for family and friends. I suppose I was wrong (in my Scarlett O'Hara voice).
So folks, I decided to join the Volunteer Community Relations committee. As always, I have found something to submerge myself in. Hopefully, I haven't bit off more than I can chew. I'm definitely looking forward to it. My first meeting was today, and I was presented a pretty cool gift-will discuss below. During the meeting, a local Afghan known as "Rocky" kept telling everyone, women included, Happy Father's Day. It was pretty funny. Ok, guess it's one of those "you gotta be there" moments
I also have attempted to plan mandatory fun, but keep getting weird looks from my cohorts. I won't give up though so I'll keep you posted.
Cool gift:
There is a civilian (American) who is like a Boy Scout liaison of sorts; don't know the exact title. Anyway he presented me with a star from an American flag, that rather being disposed of by normal/official means Boy Scouts cut and distribute to service members. A little note that was attached reads: I am part of our American Flag. I have flown over a home in the U.S.A. I can no longer fly. The sun and winds have caused me to become tattered and torn. Please carry me as a reminder that YOU are not forgotten.
It's definitely the small things that reminds folks like me of the oaths we've taken and make spending time away from those we love in places like Afghanistan worth it. I don't do this for me (obviously), but so my boys and the people of "Merica can enjoy the freedoms of our land.
Until next time...
An Army Lt Col came into my office to introduce himself and told me his name. I told him I was Amazing, prior to telling him my first name. Now every time he sees me, he asks if I'm great, amazing, or darn (not his word of choice) near perfect. My response varies, but is normally a combination of all three. Goal #219, make everyone who I encounter realize how awesome I am. I'd say I'm off to a good start. The Marine who works down the hall that I previously referred to as a grumpasaurus rex came into my office yesterday just to say hello and chat. It was weird at first, but then I realized even Marines need their daily dose of my amazingness. I don't discriminate.
Random:
Two people (one Canadian, and one Yankee) asked if I were from Texas because of my accent. I like to think that my accent is colloquial and reserved for family and friends. I suppose I was wrong (in my Scarlett O'Hara voice).
So folks, I decided to join the Volunteer Community Relations committee. As always, I have found something to submerge myself in. Hopefully, I haven't bit off more than I can chew. I'm definitely looking forward to it. My first meeting was today, and I was presented a pretty cool gift-will discuss below. During the meeting, a local Afghan known as "Rocky" kept telling everyone, women included, Happy Father's Day. It was pretty funny. Ok, guess it's one of those "you gotta be there" moments
I also have attempted to plan mandatory fun, but keep getting weird looks from my cohorts. I won't give up though so I'll keep you posted.
Cool gift:
There is a civilian (American) who is like a Boy Scout liaison of sorts; don't know the exact title. Anyway he presented me with a star from an American flag, that rather being disposed of by normal/official means Boy Scouts cut and distribute to service members. A little note that was attached reads: I am part of our American Flag. I have flown over a home in the U.S.A. I can no longer fly. The sun and winds have caused me to become tattered and torn. Please carry me as a reminder that YOU are not forgotten.
It's definitely the small things that reminds folks like me of the oaths we've taken and make spending time away from those we love in places like Afghanistan worth it. I don't do this for me (obviously), but so my boys and the people of "Merica can enjoy the freedoms of our land.
Until next time...
Saturday, June 15, 2013
What's the 411?
No, Mary J is not in the building.
Salaam friends.
The past few days have been a whirlwind of fun. Ok, I'm lying. I feel inclined to be as optimistic as possible so the suck of reality won't be so overwhelming. In reality, things aren't that bad I'm just a scrooge.
Field Trip:
I don't know if I previously told you about my trip from my camp to a location a short distance away. It's in walking distance about 10-15 minutes, but we (the Navy SPCO and I) took a gator. Let me tell you, there is nothing more daunting than riding through Afghanistan on a gator. I mean, an MRAP might be a bit much, but could we have hitched a ride in an up armored Suburban or Land Cruiser??? We stayed in the confines of what is known as the "Green Zone"; generally safe(r) than other areas in the country but still...it's Afghanistan. As we're riding, I have one hand on my weapon and I'm bracing myself to the gator with the other. I thought every Dari grafitti marking on the wall was a sign to locals of an IED, every speeding Toyota was carrying explosives, and every pedestrian local was a suicide bomber. Were these assumptions fair? Absolutely, it's my life on the line!
Each store front we passed was a suspected terrorist holdup sight [in my mind], and there was one building that had a sign indicating it was the Afghan Film Industry or Ministry of Film or something. I can't remember, all I know is I ain't fallin for it. In a country governed by corruption it's hard to trust the legitimacy of anything or anyone. Not impossible, just a little difficult.
Once we arrived at our destination it was like a new world. The first thing I noticed was the grass. Say what, say huh? There's actually grass in Afghanistan?! We managed to make our field trip last for about four hours while we visited all the exchanges (BX/PX) of the other countries, had lunch in their DFAC, hung out in the garden. Yes, garden. It's a really amazing quaint sitting area with tons of trees and shade. Really snazzy I must say.
Army Bday:
One event that I did help out with was the Army's 238th birthday celebration at our camp. I attempted to put my Protocol training to work, and in the end my General still ran amuck. Rule #1 of Protocol: Don't let your General/VIPs/Distinguished Visitors run amuck. Well mine has a mind of his own and there was nothing I could do about it. Essentially, he removed all the reserved seating signs for the function and told everybody to grab a seat NOW. What that meant was everyone scurried to a seat, including those reserved, and all the other Generals that came were left standing in the back with me. I have no problem with that, I think Protocol is somewhat overrated and unnecessary at times, but hey, that's my gig [1 of them anyway].
Food Talks:
I'm pretty sure the beef kebab I ate for dinner the other night originiated as some form of dog food. I can't confirm it, but I've convinced myself that is the case.
Other Thoughts:
Navy, why do you have ranks that aren't on my rank chart? Am I just supposed to know what YNs are? Thank God for Google.
New Ventures:
I'm considering joining a volunteer group that go on missions at schools, orphanages, local villages etc. Still a thought, don't know if I have the gaul to go outside the wire on such a frequent, non-operational mission related basis. I'll keep you posted.
Khuda Hafez...goodbye :-)
Salaam friends.
The past few days have been a whirlwind of fun. Ok, I'm lying. I feel inclined to be as optimistic as possible so the suck of reality won't be so overwhelming. In reality, things aren't that bad I'm just a scrooge.
Field Trip:
I don't know if I previously told you about my trip from my camp to a location a short distance away. It's in walking distance about 10-15 minutes, but we (the Navy SPCO and I) took a gator. Let me tell you, there is nothing more daunting than riding through Afghanistan on a gator. I mean, an MRAP might be a bit much, but could we have hitched a ride in an up armored Suburban or Land Cruiser??? We stayed in the confines of what is known as the "Green Zone"; generally safe(r) than other areas in the country but still...it's Afghanistan. As we're riding, I have one hand on my weapon and I'm bracing myself to the gator with the other. I thought every Dari grafitti marking on the wall was a sign to locals of an IED, every speeding Toyota was carrying explosives, and every pedestrian local was a suicide bomber. Were these assumptions fair? Absolutely, it's my life on the line!
Each store front we passed was a suspected terrorist holdup sight [in my mind], and there was one building that had a sign indicating it was the Afghan Film Industry or Ministry of Film or something. I can't remember, all I know is I ain't fallin for it. In a country governed by corruption it's hard to trust the legitimacy of anything or anyone. Not impossible, just a little difficult.
Once we arrived at our destination it was like a new world. The first thing I noticed was the grass. Say what, say huh? There's actually grass in Afghanistan?! We managed to make our field trip last for about four hours while we visited all the exchanges (BX/PX) of the other countries, had lunch in their DFAC, hung out in the garden. Yes, garden. It's a really amazing quaint sitting area with tons of trees and shade. Really snazzy I must say.
Army Bday:
One event that I did help out with was the Army's 238th birthday celebration at our camp. I attempted to put my Protocol training to work, and in the end my General still ran amuck. Rule #1 of Protocol: Don't let your General/VIPs/Distinguished Visitors run amuck. Well mine has a mind of his own and there was nothing I could do about it. Essentially, he removed all the reserved seating signs for the function and told everybody to grab a seat NOW. What that meant was everyone scurried to a seat, including those reserved, and all the other Generals that came were left standing in the back with me. I have no problem with that, I think Protocol is somewhat overrated and unnecessary at times, but hey, that's my gig [1 of them anyway].
Food Talks:
I'm pretty sure the beef kebab I ate for dinner the other night originiated as some form of dog food. I can't confirm it, but I've convinced myself that is the case.
Other Thoughts:
Navy, why do you have ranks that aren't on my rank chart? Am I just supposed to know what YNs are? Thank God for Google.
New Ventures:
I'm considering joining a volunteer group that go on missions at schools, orphanages, local villages etc. Still a thought, don't know if I have the gaul to go outside the wire on such a frequent, non-operational mission related basis. I'll keep you posted.
Khuda Hafez...goodbye :-)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Oh No She Didn't!
Sorry for the lag in post guys. You'd be glad to know your tax dollars are at good use and you're getting your monies worth out of me...for the most part.
I have a little over one week in country and I've been focused on getting into a stable fitness routine. Glad to say that I'm going strong, eating as clean as Afghanistan will allow, and I have some [hopefully] delicous protein shake mix arriving in a week or so. I'm also doing a six week challenge through bodybuilding.com. Maybe I'll post some before and after pics...maybe :-)
Speaking of a fitness, I'm normally in the "zone" once I hit the gym. One thing I noticed is that while working out on cardio machines (any of em) I can be doing completely fine, minding my own business...until someone starts working out on a machine next to me. At that moment I discreetly size them up. I'm checking out their pysique, assuming their current fitness levels, and trying to see what type of workout their doing. Do I have workout envy???
Just last night I'm working out in a nearly empty cardio area. There were at least 5 empty machines to my left, as I was on the one closest to the wall. And what do you know, little Ms. Hot Body jumped on the machine beside me. Really? So she gears up and starts smoking me in our unofficial competition. Oh no she didn't! So I try and pick it up, but realized a heart attack wouldn't do me any good, so I took it back down to my comfort level. In my defense I had already been working out for 30 minutes when she arrived. That must count for something. Right?
So I finished my workout and reaffirmed to myself that I too am Mrs. Hot Body/Hot Mommy/Hot Wife...it's just below the surface and I'm gradually letting it free. (Repeat 3x)
In other news, I got busted trying to send cologne through U.S. mail. There are too many rules for me, and I was just trying to send Father's Day gifts. *Note to self: purchase online and send directly to recipient. Now I want the $90 spent back in my pocket vs holding on to the gifts till I get home.
Oh guess what friends! I had my first bout of gastroentiritis aka some stomach crap. Just thought I'd share that. I did get selected to have lunch with a 2-star general. Pretty cool, good to hang out with some other Air Force peeps once in a while and stop hearing "Hooah", "Rog", "Hooah" all day.
My next goal is figuring out how to finagle a TDY while here to some sweet European country. I'll keep you posted on that.
Well friends, it's time for my afternoon workout. Adios!
I have a little over one week in country and I've been focused on getting into a stable fitness routine. Glad to say that I'm going strong, eating as clean as Afghanistan will allow, and I have some [hopefully] delicous protein shake mix arriving in a week or so. I'm also doing a six week challenge through bodybuilding.com. Maybe I'll post some before and after pics...maybe :-)
Speaking of a fitness, I'm normally in the "zone" once I hit the gym. One thing I noticed is that while working out on cardio machines (any of em) I can be doing completely fine, minding my own business...until someone starts working out on a machine next to me. At that moment I discreetly size them up. I'm checking out their pysique, assuming their current fitness levels, and trying to see what type of workout their doing. Do I have workout envy???
Just last night I'm working out in a nearly empty cardio area. There were at least 5 empty machines to my left, as I was on the one closest to the wall. And what do you know, little Ms. Hot Body jumped on the machine beside me. Really? So she gears up and starts smoking me in our unofficial competition. Oh no she didn't! So I try and pick it up, but realized a heart attack wouldn't do me any good, so I took it back down to my comfort level. In my defense I had already been working out for 30 minutes when she arrived. That must count for something. Right?
So I finished my workout and reaffirmed to myself that I too am Mrs. Hot Body/Hot Mommy/Hot Wife...it's just below the surface and I'm gradually letting it free. (Repeat 3x)
In other news, I got busted trying to send cologne through U.S. mail. There are too many rules for me, and I was just trying to send Father's Day gifts. *Note to self: purchase online and send directly to recipient. Now I want the $90 spent back in my pocket vs holding on to the gifts till I get home.
Oh guess what friends! I had my first bout of gastroentiritis aka some stomach crap. Just thought I'd share that. I did get selected to have lunch with a 2-star general. Pretty cool, good to hang out with some other Air Force peeps once in a while and stop hearing "Hooah", "Rog", "Hooah" all day.
My next goal is figuring out how to finagle a TDY while here to some sweet European country. I'll keep you posted on that.
Well friends, it's time for my afternoon workout. Adios!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
...I Forgot to Mention
Throughout the day I sometimes write down things on Post-Its, or in a small notepad I keep in my pocket to trigger my memory for things to blog about. I forgot some things during my trip and felt like posting. Better late than never...
When leaving Bagram Air Field:
As I walked across the flight line I could not help but take in the beautiful landscape of the mountains. When I looked at them, I didn't see the ugliness that sits beyond them or the hate embedded in them. I only saw beauty. Beauty that only God could create that can never be matched or duplicated by man.
While on the flight from Bagram:
Oh boy, a C-130. The last time I was on this type of aircraft was in JROTC on a trip to Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Ohio. That trip was extremely fun minus flying in Blues and freezing. This time was equally uncomfortable with my IBA see here suffocating me.
Random thoughts:
When I hear members of our Coalition forces (partners in crime) speaking their native language I have random urges to jump in their convos (conversations for my senior citizens). Especially the French! Ooh la la, haun haun, croissant! I'm practically fluent. Well I should be, after 4 years of French including AP French in high school and 3 years of it in college. Unfortunately, that was flushed from my memory to make room for all the other useless info in my brain.
I also find that I'm easily amused. Prime example; when I see non-American negroes, I want to ask them to take photos with me for Facebook. Yes, I know black people exist outside of America, but I don't get to see them everyday and I don't get to work with them especially in a military setting, like ever! There's this one guy who is just super cool to me. I know he thinks I'm creepy, but whatevs. I don't know what country he's from, but he's the only one with skin like mine that I've seen so far that wears his nation's uniform. I saw a Canadian negro girl today and we made quick awkward eye contact while walking past each other. Maybe she was thinking the same thing I was thinking.
That's all for now!
When leaving Bagram Air Field:
As I walked across the flight line I could not help but take in the beautiful landscape of the mountains. When I looked at them, I didn't see the ugliness that sits beyond them or the hate embedded in them. I only saw beauty. Beauty that only God could create that can never be matched or duplicated by man.
While on the flight from Bagram:
Oh boy, a C-130. The last time I was on this type of aircraft was in JROTC on a trip to Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Ohio. That trip was extremely fun minus flying in Blues and freezing. This time was equally uncomfortable with my IBA see here suffocating me.
Random thoughts:
When I hear members of our Coalition forces (partners in crime) speaking their native language I have random urges to jump in their convos (conversations for my senior citizens). Especially the French! Ooh la la, haun haun, croissant! I'm practically fluent. Well I should be, after 4 years of French including AP French in high school and 3 years of it in college. Unfortunately, that was flushed from my memory to make room for all the other useless info in my brain.
I also find that I'm easily amused. Prime example; when I see non-American negroes, I want to ask them to take photos with me for Facebook. Yes, I know black people exist outside of America, but I don't get to see them everyday and I don't get to work with them especially in a military setting, like ever! There's this one guy who is just super cool to me. I know he thinks I'm creepy, but whatevs. I don't know what country he's from, but he's the only one with skin like mine that I've seen so far that wears his nation's uniform. I saw a Canadian negro girl today and we made quick awkward eye contact while walking past each other. Maybe she was thinking the same thing I was thinking.
That's all for now!
More Photo Fun
 |
| Thank God for the photo and English translation |
 |
| White Toyotas, trucks with guns, and mountains=my daily view |
 |
| Breakfast again :-) my day revolves around my meals |
 |
| So, there's a village that close huh? |
 |
| Look closely...I really love mountain views |
 |
| Suppress my emotions with food...just kidding, but I couldn't pass this meal up |
Quick Pics
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| $8! Yikes |
 |
| A view from Bagram Air Field |
 |
| Mmm breakfast |
 |
| Hydrate!...in any language |
 |
| My favorite drink |
Day 27 It's the Weekend Baby!
And you know what that means?! Absolutely nothing. Just another day in paradise, and today I'm only working 11 hours instead of 12. Go on, raise the roof!
The pace has begun to pick up as I begin to actually do work now. All systems are a go, and I'm officially dangerous enough to mess some things up. The first order of business was a stack (of about 10) award packages that were returned to me for edits yesterday. They were turned in by my predecessor over a month ago, yet the final processing authority somehow sat on them until now. Interesting methodology. It should be known that other people's emergencies don't and never will constitue an emergency on my part. Unless of course it's an actual 9-1-1 lost of limb or life emergency, but you catch my drift. So I hammered away at those until about 8:30 last night, and finished the rest this morning.
In regards to official work, I also completed my first protocol event. What is this protocol I speak of? Check here > Air Froce Protocol
It was pretty interesting and definitely isn't rocket science, which would definitely explain why I'm in charge of that area. Funny enough my "official" deployment tasking was specifically for protocol, but all of my military peeps out there knows that means, you'll do whatever the General or Colonel needs you to do, especially if you're deploying with another branch. Like in my case, with the Army. My primary job is this > MY JOB and protocol is an added bonus.
*Question for my friends stationed overseas, how do you deal with AFN? I am new to this, and as much as I appreciate the eight or so stations we have, the programming and lame military commercials are driving me crazy.
It's Saturday here, and things are pretty quiet. Today or tomorrow I will take a field trip off Camp E Where I Work/Live/Play to ISAF HQ which I'm looking forward to. I hear the overpriced handmade pizza is amazing, and they have all the coalition exchanges so maybe I'll find some cool stuff.
I'm told there are kids everywhere at the entryway and they grab on you and will take anything they can get; pens, military patches, etc. They should be warned that I fight anyone between the ages of 8-80. A wise advisor told me to just kick them in the chest. I am willing to do that as well as pistol whip and headbutt them with my Kevlar <<<seriously :-) Maybe I'll buy some candy, and give it to them even though I'm sure they prefer cash.
Oh by the way *Amir apparently got a working vacuum, I heard it earlier this morning. I also may buckle soon and have him iron my uniforms. He charges $3 to wash and iron, and I feel like doing so would go a long way for his family. I'll pay him in Afghan dollars though, definitely not trying to push any more US dollars into their currency system. Don't want the Taliban sending me a thank you note. That's another subject.
It's nearly 2 p.m. and I have an appointment. Will check in with you guys later.
The pace has begun to pick up as I begin to actually do work now. All systems are a go, and I'm officially dangerous enough to mess some things up. The first order of business was a stack (of about 10) award packages that were returned to me for edits yesterday. They were turned in by my predecessor over a month ago, yet the final processing authority somehow sat on them until now. Interesting methodology. It should be known that other people's emergencies don't and never will constitue an emergency on my part. Unless of course it's an actual 9-1-1 lost of limb or life emergency, but you catch my drift. So I hammered away at those until about 8:30 last night, and finished the rest this morning.
In regards to official work, I also completed my first protocol event. What is this protocol I speak of? Check here > Air Froce Protocol
It was pretty interesting and definitely isn't rocket science, which would definitely explain why I'm in charge of that area. Funny enough my "official" deployment tasking was specifically for protocol, but all of my military peeps out there knows that means, you'll do whatever the General or Colonel needs you to do, especially if you're deploying with another branch. Like in my case, with the Army. My primary job is this > MY JOB and protocol is an added bonus.
*Question for my friends stationed overseas, how do you deal with AFN? I am new to this, and as much as I appreciate the eight or so stations we have, the programming and lame military commercials are driving me crazy.
It's Saturday here, and things are pretty quiet. Today or tomorrow I will take a field trip off Camp E Where I Work/Live/Play to ISAF HQ which I'm looking forward to. I hear the overpriced handmade pizza is amazing, and they have all the coalition exchanges so maybe I'll find some cool stuff.
I'm told there are kids everywhere at the entryway and they grab on you and will take anything they can get; pens, military patches, etc. They should be warned that I fight anyone between the ages of 8-80. A wise advisor told me to just kick them in the chest. I am willing to do that as well as pistol whip and headbutt them with my Kevlar <<<seriously :-) Maybe I'll buy some candy, and give it to them even though I'm sure they prefer cash.
Oh by the way *Amir apparently got a working vacuum, I heard it earlier this morning. I also may buckle soon and have him iron my uniforms. He charges $3 to wash and iron, and I feel like doing so would go a long way for his family. I'll pay him in Afghan dollars though, definitely not trying to push any more US dollars into their currency system. Don't want the Taliban sending me a thank you note. That's another subject.
It's nearly 2 p.m. and I have an appointment. Will check in with you guys later.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Day 26.5 Who's Bad?!
Even though I did a post this morning, I'm on some kind of non-molly writing high. (Expecting random urinalysis the moment I get back to the states)
I just realized that the Chaplain with the unnecessary death grip handshake looks like Lou Gosset, Jr. Yes, Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley himself (google it you whippersnappers). That explains his superiority complex.
Today I noticed that everytime watermelon is offered in the DFAC I partake. I generally bring my meals back to the office and eat, so I eat my watermelon prim and proper with a fork. Today however, my co-worker stepped out of the office for a moment and I went face first into my wallamellon. I almost got barefoot and started singing old negro spirituals, but I quickly remembered my surroundings and wiped the juice off my face.
Walking back to my office, a group of locals were walking towards me and the area around the street was less populated than usual. They were all chatty and walking side by side extending the width of the road, and at that moment I felt like the only person on the camp. I felt like MJ in the "Beat It" video. In my mind my OCPs (uniform) transformed into a red leather jacket, and rather than slick dance moves and a dance-off, I was thinking how many rounds were in the clip of my M9. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any urge or desire to shoot or harm innocent Afghans BUT I do have cat like reflexes and I am always on guard. That's all.
I think I creeped out a Marine Major today. He asked how I was doing, and I exclaimed (litearlly), "Outfreakinstanding". He had a bewildered look on his face like "really". I told him I might as well claim it and maybe it will be contagious so people around me won't mope around. He then smiled, probably because he thinks I'm weird, but whatevs I made the guy that everyone thinks is a grumpasaurus rex smile :-)
Yay, 20 more minutes in my 12 hour workday!
Adios mis amigos
I just realized that the Chaplain with the unnecessary death grip handshake looks like Lou Gosset, Jr. Yes, Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley himself (google it you whippersnappers). That explains his superiority complex.
Today I noticed that everytime watermelon is offered in the DFAC I partake. I generally bring my meals back to the office and eat, so I eat my watermelon prim and proper with a fork. Today however, my co-worker stepped out of the office for a moment and I went face first into my wallamellon. I almost got barefoot and started singing old negro spirituals, but I quickly remembered my surroundings and wiped the juice off my face.
Walking back to my office, a group of locals were walking towards me and the area around the street was less populated than usual. They were all chatty and walking side by side extending the width of the road, and at that moment I felt like the only person on the camp. I felt like MJ in the "Beat It" video. In my mind my OCPs (uniform) transformed into a red leather jacket, and rather than slick dance moves and a dance-off, I was thinking how many rounds were in the clip of my M9. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any urge or desire to shoot or harm innocent Afghans BUT I do have cat like reflexes and I am always on guard. That's all.
I think I creeped out a Marine Major today. He asked how I was doing, and I exclaimed (litearlly), "Outfreakinstanding". He had a bewildered look on his face like "really". I told him I might as well claim it and maybe it will be contagious so people around me won't mope around. He then smiled, probably because he thinks I'm weird, but whatevs I made the guy that everyone thinks is a grumpasaurus rex smile :-)
Yay, 20 more minutes in my 12 hour workday!
Adios mis amigos
Day 26 Public Enemy #1
Have you ever been around someone that has a habit or they do something so utterly disgusting that it makes your skin crawl; or even worse, you throw up in your mouth?
For some reason, I think that's how *Akbar feels each time I ask for bacon at breakfast. *Akbar is one of the contractors that works in the DFAC (dining facility for you newbies). To preface this, I should let it be known that at my home pork is a no-go. We don't purchase or consume it (because my husband is a tyrant), so pardon me for letting my hair down and eating a piece of bacon or so (like 10) every now and then (almost daily)...guilty pleasure.
When I first arrived in Afghanistan, the base I was at did not have pork products so I ate my grits with turkey bacon and I was completely fine with that. Then, I arrived to good 'ol Camp E and they have bacon, like real pork bacon! It was like the gates of heaven opened for a brief moment as to give sinners hope that all was not lost. I felt inclined to partake in the swine. I figured if they were serving it then they surely would not mind if us freedom fighters consumed it. Well, boy was I wrong. Each time I step up in the line and politely say, "Bacon please", Akbar's face looks as if I have cursed Allah. Hey brother I'm on your side (*side eye*, not really). But don't judge me. Out of respect and because of alcohol being illegal, only non-alcohol beer is sold at the PX. Maybe they should take out the pork bacon in the DFACs and only serve turkey bacon, even goat bacon. I don't really care, I just don't want my face engrained in the memory of any Afghani as a filthy American pork lover. I'm much more than that :-)
The water situation:
As previously mentioned, the water in the bathroom/showers is disinfected, non-potatble. Meaning safe to bathe, not to consume. While showering last night I noticed a very "bleachy" smell. I thought oh, the must've really loaded it on when cleaning the showers. I then realized my loofah also had a bleach-like scent. This led to the conclusion that the smell must actually be the water. For the record, I understand how both water sanitation and purificiation works. What I wonder however, is if there is a correct balance of water vs. chemical content. For those of you that know me, know that I would never tryingly bleach my skin, so if I return to the states looking like either the white Michael Jackson or the 201Xish Tamar Braxton, it was not of my own doing.
For some reason, I think that's how *Akbar feels each time I ask for bacon at breakfast. *Akbar is one of the contractors that works in the DFAC (dining facility for you newbies). To preface this, I should let it be known that at my home pork is a no-go. We don't purchase or consume it (because my husband is a tyrant), so pardon me for letting my hair down and eating a piece of bacon or so (like 10) every now and then (almost daily)...guilty pleasure.
When I first arrived in Afghanistan, the base I was at did not have pork products so I ate my grits with turkey bacon and I was completely fine with that. Then, I arrived to good 'ol Camp E and they have bacon, like real pork bacon! It was like the gates of heaven opened for a brief moment as to give sinners hope that all was not lost. I felt inclined to partake in the swine. I figured if they were serving it then they surely would not mind if us freedom fighters consumed it. Well, boy was I wrong. Each time I step up in the line and politely say, "Bacon please", Akbar's face looks as if I have cursed Allah. Hey brother I'm on your side (*side eye*, not really). But don't judge me. Out of respect and because of alcohol being illegal, only non-alcohol beer is sold at the PX. Maybe they should take out the pork bacon in the DFACs and only serve turkey bacon, even goat bacon. I don't really care, I just don't want my face engrained in the memory of any Afghani as a filthy American pork lover. I'm much more than that :-)
The water situation:
As previously mentioned, the water in the bathroom/showers is disinfected, non-potatble. Meaning safe to bathe, not to consume. While showering last night I noticed a very "bleachy" smell. I thought oh, the must've really loaded it on when cleaning the showers. I then realized my loofah also had a bleach-like scent. This led to the conclusion that the smell must actually be the water. For the record, I understand how both water sanitation and purificiation works. What I wonder however, is if there is a correct balance of water vs. chemical content. For those of you that know me, know that I would never tryingly bleach my skin, so if I return to the states looking like either the white Michael Jackson or the 201Xish Tamar Braxton, it was not of my own doing.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Handshake Felt Around the World
I am continuing to get settled into my job, and I must say
that it’s probably the most interesting in my career. The people, the personalities, and sheer
circumstances while being deployed; all ingredients for big fun.
I’m going to rewind briefly to this morning then I’ll
reflect on yesterday.
As I came into my building this morning for work *Amir (the
housekeeper) is the first person I see.
I say, “Good morning”, and he quickly goes into a rant about both the
vacuum cleaners in the building being broken so he couldn’t vacuum. Um, ok.
As a mother, I know that anytime someone starts vomiting random
information that they are usually guilty of something. In my head I’m thinking I need to cordon off
the building and have EOD do a sweep of the building! After at least 90 seconds of explaining and
doing hand motions about the vacuum I told him I’ll let someone know. I saw that there was one more person in the
building this morning, one of our IT people.
She’s in the Navy, so if I screamed for help she’s well suited to assist
right? Wait, they all aren’t SEALs???
Everything appeared ok so I dropped my things off to work
then headed to grab some breakfast to bring back to the office. On the way there I saw a Captain who
attended CAST with me. He confirmed even
people that rode the short bus can earn a commission if their timing is
right. Anyway, he informed me that he
was on his way to his office. ..wearing full battle rattle. At our location you only “suit up” when you
go outside the wire aka leave the confines of the camp. I was a bit confused by his wear of the gear
but I figured “Whatev, he’s got this…hopefully” -_-. On top of this he gave me his usual weak
partial handshake. The kind where the
person only uses their fingers to grab yours.
Ugh, it’s like holding a handful of wet noodles; just gross.
Fast forward to yesterday:
I met a lot of people, went to a meeting with nothing but Army
Colonels and didn’t understand a single thing, and got in my usual gym time. At the meeting there was a Romanian and
Aussie Colonel too. When the Romanian
started to speak I may as well not have even been in the room. And by the look of the faces of the ‘Mericans
, they might as well not have been there neither. Due to the nature of my job, people are
constantly in and out trying to get face time (introduce themselves) with hope
that enough rapport will be built to work a few favors if ever needed. One meet and greet in particular is forever engrained
in my elephant memory. The command
chaplain stopped by to introduce his replacement. As usual, I flashed a smile with a quick
hello and I shook the hand of the new guy.
The current chaplain then reached for my hand and with as much machismo
possible, clenched my hand as if he was looking into the soul of the
Taliban. It was the kind of death grip
that you can’t even spread your fingers to break out of. He should consider selling a bit of that
ego/testosterone to the Captain in hopes they both find a healthy balance.
I’m attempting to settle into a routine that maximizes my
time here. Definitely a work in
progress, but at least everything is going well for me. Well until next time friends, bye bye.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Days 21-23 Oh the Aroma
(Does the ENTIRE country smell like gym socks, port-a-potties, and kitty litter or just the parts I've been too?)
Well I definitely won the deployment lottery with this one folks, not only am I getting $3.50 per day in per diem, I have the sheer luxury of wondering if I'll have to actually revert back to the training that I barely retained.
Does my job really suck? Well no, not at all. Those who know me, know that tactfulness isn't my strong trait, but I make up for it with my quick whit, sense of humor and charming personality...should I go on? :-) My lack of tact and being "prim and proper" is what I find most comical in my position. I work in what is known as the "White House". I would say call me Olivia Pope, but for more than one reason I'll just stick to my own non-adulterous identity.
Anyway, I work for a 3-star [General] aka Fitz and the Colonel (Cyrus) who's his Chief of Staff. Most of what our office does is for the Col however. I'm one of three members in our dream team office that juggles about 100 different tasks. Our speciality: never drop one of the glass balls we're juggling. How these folks do it all, I don't know. But I have no choice but to quickly figure it out. They had my Blackberry ready before I even had ammo!
On the first day, I met the nice local who introudced himself as the housekeeper. I don't remember his name, but I've learned to just smile and nod when I don't want people repeating things 1,000 times. He cleans the building I work in, and at the time when I met him he was ironing the General's uniform. I was told he'd gladly iron mine too but I prefer the rugged look...you know, kinda like I'm deployed.
My room is decent and the building I'm in is similar to your standard dorm style living. Indoor plumbing; raise the roof! Somewhat of an oxymoron is a sign in the bathroom advising users not to consume the water, but states that it is disinfected and safe for hygiene uses. Riddle me this, how can you not consume water that you'd use to brush your teeth? I just stick to bottle water for keeping my braces sparkly. The size of my room is definitely manageable for six months and we (my room mate and I) have a TV and mini fridge.
The camp is not too large and there are only two main streets, but the paths between all the buildings is like an awful maze. The amenities are pretty good too. The spa is open daily and they wax eyebrows for $5 and you can get a full body, 50 min massage for wait for it...$20! Winning all around. There are also shops that are open daily that sell everything from $1 bootlegs, handmade rugs and scarves, clothes and shoes, and anything your heart can fancy. They also bring in local vendors for a bizarre every Friday and once a month there is a women's only vendor sale.
So let me rewind to my trip from the airport to the camp. That was definitely the most intense 20+ minute ride of my life. Unfortunately, I'll have to leave it at that. Just know once I am on my flight home I won't lose any sleep if I don't ever come to or near Afghanistan again.
Well I don't wanna miss chow, gotta go!
Well I definitely won the deployment lottery with this one folks, not only am I getting $3.50 per day in per diem, I have the sheer luxury of wondering if I'll have to actually revert back to the training that I barely retained.
Does my job really suck? Well no, not at all. Those who know me, know that tactfulness isn't my strong trait, but I make up for it with my quick whit, sense of humor and charming personality...should I go on? :-) My lack of tact and being "prim and proper" is what I find most comical in my position. I work in what is known as the "White House". I would say call me Olivia Pope, but for more than one reason I'll just stick to my own non-adulterous identity.
Anyway, I work for a 3-star [General] aka Fitz and the Colonel (Cyrus) who's his Chief of Staff. Most of what our office does is for the Col however. I'm one of three members in our dream team office that juggles about 100 different tasks. Our speciality: never drop one of the glass balls we're juggling. How these folks do it all, I don't know. But I have no choice but to quickly figure it out. They had my Blackberry ready before I even had ammo!
On the first day, I met the nice local who introudced himself as the housekeeper. I don't remember his name, but I've learned to just smile and nod when I don't want people repeating things 1,000 times. He cleans the building I work in, and at the time when I met him he was ironing the General's uniform. I was told he'd gladly iron mine too but I prefer the rugged look...you know, kinda like I'm deployed.
My room is decent and the building I'm in is similar to your standard dorm style living. Indoor plumbing; raise the roof! Somewhat of an oxymoron is a sign in the bathroom advising users not to consume the water, but states that it is disinfected and safe for hygiene uses. Riddle me this, how can you not consume water that you'd use to brush your teeth? I just stick to bottle water for keeping my braces sparkly. The size of my room is definitely manageable for six months and we (my room mate and I) have a TV and mini fridge.
The camp is not too large and there are only two main streets, but the paths between all the buildings is like an awful maze. The amenities are pretty good too. The spa is open daily and they wax eyebrows for $5 and you can get a full body, 50 min massage for wait for it...$20! Winning all around. There are also shops that are open daily that sell everything from $1 bootlegs, handmade rugs and scarves, clothes and shoes, and anything your heart can fancy. They also bring in local vendors for a bizarre every Friday and once a month there is a women's only vendor sale.
So let me rewind to my trip from the airport to the camp. That was definitely the most intense 20+ minute ride of my life. Unfortunately, I'll have to leave it at that. Just know once I am on my flight home I won't lose any sleep if I don't ever come to or near Afghanistan again.
Well I don't wanna miss chow, gotta go!
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Day 20 Things Just Got Real
I didn't want to leave my bestie, but it was time for the next step in my voyage. I boarded the C-17 in full battle rattle (Kevlar helmet, body armor/bullet resistant vest) and it was finally time to head into Afghanistan. *que Top Gun anthem*
I took advantage of the nearly two hour flight and took a nap. As the doors lowered and we all stood to exit the plane the heat engulfed me and literally took my breath away. Our group followed behind a flight line crew member who took us to the passenger terminal. Let me say that this <3 minute walk was by far the most difficult of my life. I thought trekking through Denver and the AF Academy once during the summer was rough. Uhh uhh, that was no match. I looked around and saw that mountains swallowed us on all sides. Hmm, moment of slight discomfort. Heat. Mountains. Sound of jets. Mortar Attack procedures. Yup, things just got real.
Our group was herded through some processing and I met up with a Senior Airmen who took the "special" subgroup I was apart of to another location. We got a quick tour of the primary area and our tent assignments, since we would only be here temporarily. I had the luxury of being assigned to a tent with about three functioning light bulbs and an AC with no controls that was blowing temps of about -20 degrees Fahrenheit. Once again, I'm being spoiled -_- On the bright side the mattress appeared a lot less contagious then those at Manas and the shower and latrines (restrooms) were a slight upgrade, i.e. there were hooks and benches. In my short time at my current location, I took advantage of the free wifi in the JET/IA lounge (Air Force members that are deployed solo vs part of a team and generally work for Army units). There is also a recreation center with a computer lab, phones, TVs, video games, and a mini theatre area. Not too shabby. The bizarre was today, but it was too hot and I was too lazy to check it out. A Major I talked to this morning was looking forward to going and getting $2 bootlegs of the newest movies. The food here is good...well great in comparison to alot of DFACs (Dining Facilities) abroad and stateside. There is also a larger non-military American population than I was aware of. Are there any readers that are U.S. contractors willing to indulge how much (the range of pay) you guys make being out here?
Well I'm exhausted from my day of watching six hours of YouTube followed by a seven hour nap. It's after 11 p.m. but since I have to wake up at 3:30 a.m. ish I really don't feel like going to sleep.
Thoughts of the moment:
Are all Afghanis a threat? Absolutely not. Do I treat them like criminals or someone with an ill will? Absolutely not. Do I appreciate having my M9 and M4 just in case? Absolutely.
I should get to my final stop tomorrow at which point I will delightfully entertain you of my life in my actual assignment. Anxiously anticipating the fun...
I took advantage of the nearly two hour flight and took a nap. As the doors lowered and we all stood to exit the plane the heat engulfed me and literally took my breath away. Our group followed behind a flight line crew member who took us to the passenger terminal. Let me say that this <3 minute walk was by far the most difficult of my life. I thought trekking through Denver and the AF Academy once during the summer was rough. Uhh uhh, that was no match. I looked around and saw that mountains swallowed us on all sides. Hmm, moment of slight discomfort. Heat. Mountains. Sound of jets. Mortar Attack procedures. Yup, things just got real.
Our group was herded through some processing and I met up with a Senior Airmen who took the "special" subgroup I was apart of to another location. We got a quick tour of the primary area and our tent assignments, since we would only be here temporarily. I had the luxury of being assigned to a tent with about three functioning light bulbs and an AC with no controls that was blowing temps of about -20 degrees Fahrenheit. Once again, I'm being spoiled -_- On the bright side the mattress appeared a lot less contagious then those at Manas and the shower and latrines (restrooms) were a slight upgrade, i.e. there were hooks and benches. In my short time at my current location, I took advantage of the free wifi in the JET/IA lounge (Air Force members that are deployed solo vs part of a team and generally work for Army units). There is also a recreation center with a computer lab, phones, TVs, video games, and a mini theatre area. Not too shabby. The bizarre was today, but it was too hot and I was too lazy to check it out. A Major I talked to this morning was looking forward to going and getting $2 bootlegs of the newest movies. The food here is good...well great in comparison to alot of DFACs (Dining Facilities) abroad and stateside. There is also a larger non-military American population than I was aware of. Are there any readers that are U.S. contractors willing to indulge how much (the range of pay) you guys make being out here?
Well I'm exhausted from my day of watching six hours of YouTube followed by a seven hour nap. It's after 11 p.m. but since I have to wake up at 3:30 a.m. ish I really don't feel like going to sleep.
Thoughts of the moment:
Are all Afghanis a threat? Absolutely not. Do I treat them like criminals or someone with an ill will? Absolutely not. Do I appreciate having my M9 and M4 just in case? Absolutely.
I should get to my final stop tomorrow at which point I will delightfully entertain you of my life in my actual assignment. Anxiously anticipating the fun...
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